FALLEN ANGEL
by SPARTAN-045
Summary: Azusa is now 25 and playing for a heavy metal band. On stage she is a guitar goddess; off stage, she is a single mother trying to provide for her daughter. Complete synopsis inside
1. GOING HOME

-Just something new I felt like writing-

(Synopsis) Azusa, now 25 years old is a heavy metal star. The band, Shadow is famous world wide and is easily the most popular Industrial Metal band in the music industry. Azusa is now the lead guitarist and loves nothing more than to perform on stage.

Offstage however, she has even more responsibility than making sure her concerts are always flawless. Azusa is a single mother with a 5 year old daughter. Now trying to make ends meet through her music and making sure that she is able to provide for her child and to keep her happy while trying to forget about their past.

(CHAPTER 1) GOING HOME

"I can hear them all. I can hear them all cheering; cheering for us, cheering for me." Azusa stood on a metal platform with her guitar in hand and ready to play. "Everyone here want's to hear us, they want to hear us perform, and they want to hear my music."

Azusa looked up through the grated metal stage. Through the stage lighting and constant flash of cameras, she could see the bands lead singer taking his place on the stage with the crowd cheering frantically. The sound of otherworldly keyboard tones began to play as the intro to their show started and the drummers beats began to pick up.

The stage lighting meant to shine from below the stage lit up and the first of the vocals began. The drum beat picked up and the crowd cheered louder. Azusa took in one final breath and slammed her pick down on the strings of her B.C. Rich Beast and hammered out the first of many heavy riffs that would be played this night.

Her platform began to rise and next to her, pyrotechnic charges detonated sending out an ear deafening bang and a shower of sparks as fire lit around her as her platform rose onto the stage with thousands of fans cheering and the blinding flashes of stage lighting and camera flashes constantly filling her sight. Azusa stood surrounded by a ring of fire as she played the heavy intro to the first song of the show.

Her music was hard, and heavy. Constant heavily distorted guitar riffs and other effects. All accompanied by fast double bass drum beats and symphonic keyboard while the constant flare of lights, fire, and explosions rocked the stage. This was her favorite style of music, Industrial Metal. Through her experience of playing soft rock in high school, she slowly found herself evolving her style to something much heavier. Now at the age of 25, Azusa was now fully immersed in the heavy metal world.

This was a world where she could allow herself to simply let go. On stage she was able to; for a brief time, forget every problem she had and simply rock out. She loved the stage, she loved the large crowds and she loved her music.

Azusa headed towards the center of the stage as the lights dimmed with the sound of ghostly keyboard bridging the song. She stood front and center and waited for her cue. She tightly gripped her pick and then started a fast and heavy guitar solo as the lights flashed red and a large, loud explosion of fire erupted around her. She loved it, she loved it all. The noise, the stage effects, her talent as a musician.

The bands entire concert lasted about two hours. Azusa began to play the final riff to their last song and watched as the crowd went mad with cheers and applause while the stage lighting flashed and finished off with loud pops and bangs from the pyro effects.

Azusa slammed the final notes out of her guitar and let the harmonic echo throughout the arena; she stood motionless and simply looked on at the crowd as they cheered for her and the rest of the band. She stood motionless in her gothic concert attire, letting the long black ribbons flow around her body and wrap around her corset which was adorned with black straps and chrome metal buckles. She also wore a black pleated mini skirt accompanied by black strapped thigh high stockings and slim buckled boots as well as arm length bands of torn fabric for sleeves. Along with her outfit, she still kept her hair in its usual twin tails which flowed around her dainty body and her long bangs which draped over her face that was decorated with black lipstick and eye shadow.

As the bands lead singer slowly walked to the center stage, Azusa slowly knelt down on one knee and bowed to the crowd. She sat motionless and listened to the cheers and screams. She loved it all so much.

She finally stood and followed the rest of the band off stage and heard the soft outro song begin to play as they left the stage and headed back to the dressing room. As she headed off stage she was instantly reminded of something that she loved even more than the fame, notoriety and the metal scene. Standing before her, wearing a black t-shirt with a matching pair of black pants and a look of joy on her face, was Azusa's biggest love in her life, her 5 year old daughter, Tama.

"Mommy!" She called out happily as she ran to Azusa's arms. Azusa instantly cradled her daughter as she called out happily, "You were great tonight!" Tama was tiny, even for her age. She had long raven black hair much like her mother's and she had piercing blue eyes that lit up her baby doll face and her blushing cheeks. Azusa smiled and looked at her child as she asked, "Do you think so?" Tama instantly nodded, "Yes! You look so cool when you play!" Azusa smiled at her child and felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw the band's lead singer; his stage name was Specter but everyone who knew him off stage called him by his real name, Tyler. He was tall and muscular with long, shoulder length, frost silver hair.

"Let's go, Angel." He said to Azusa softly, "We need to be out of here as soon as we're changed and back to the airport." Azusa nodded and stood with Tama's hand in hers. Angel was her stage name, at least that's what the rest of the band called her. Due to the bands name, Shadow, and along with its dark, heavy industrial metal feel, she choose the stage name Fallen Angel Azusa. Most of her fans as well as the rest of the band simply referred to her as Angel. It was other's who took her full stage name into account. Other's that she didn't particularly care for.

She held onto Tama's hand and was led down the halls of the arena by security guards back to their dressing room. The band stepped inside and instantly the drummer, with the stage name Wraith, flopped down onto one of the rooms sofa's and sighed as he said, "I call that show a success." Ghost, the bassist added, "They always love when we save Black Fire for the last song." The keyboard player, Banshee and rhythm guitarist, Phantom both headed towards the separate changing rooms and called out, "Yeah, the crowed was going crazy." "Great vocals tonight too Specter."

Azusa led Tama over to the Sofa where the drummer was sitting and said, "Be a good girl and sit with Wraith while mommy changes, okay?" Tama simply smiled and replied, "Okay." Azusa then walked over to her own separate changing area and grabbed her suitcase. Once inside her changing area, she quickly stripped from her gothic stage clothing and neatly folded them up and placed them into a small suitcase. She then stripped from her bra and panties and stepped into a small shower and quickly washed the sweat from her body.

As the refreshing warm water ran over her well formed body, her mind began to wander. It had been 2 years since she finally left him. 2 years since she finally worked up the courage to realize just how much trouble she was in and how much danger her daughter was near. She sighed and looked down at her body. As the streams of water fell around her from the shower, she ran her fingers over a scar on her lower abdomen. She sighed. It was a lasting mark of him, and a lasting mark of his abuse.

She quickly finished washing and turned the water off. She then wrapped a towel around her body and stepped back out into her changing area. Azusa finished drying off and quickly pulled out a clean set of underwear and slipped them on. As she finished hooking her bra, she heard a light knock coming from the changing rooms door. "Yes?" Azusa asked calmly. She heard Tyler's voice, "Can I come in?" Azusa calmly replied, "Yeah, I'm pretty much dressed." Tyler came into the room and took notice of Azusa in nothing more than her bra and panties. He didn't make a fuss over it. He knew Azusa's past, the whole band did. He would admit that she was beautiful but because he knew of her ex husband he never made any forceful advances.

"I just wanted to ask you if everything is going okay?" Tyler asked. "Yes." She said calmly as she slipped into a black mini skirt, "Everything is fine." Tyler nodded and continued, "I just wanted to be sure. I know things have been rough with you and Tama and I just wanted to make sure that everything was alright." Azusa nodded as she slipped into a button up top and put on an elegant, gothic black vest over it. "Everything is as good as I hope it can be." Azusa began to brush her still damp hair and continued as she looked at herself in the mirror. "As long as we continue to sell at our shows and I make it home by Sunday so that Tama can make it to school on time, I'm fine."

Tyler sighed, "I know but I've been hearing about rumors in your neighborhood." Azusa stopped brushing her hair momentarily and then paused. She sat motionless for a moment and then continued to brush her long black hair. "People will always be talking behind your back. It's the life of a rock star, I know this, and I accept it." "Do you?" Tyler asked. "Azusa sighed and said, "I don't have a choice right now. If I loose this life, I don't have a home and I can't provide for Tama. Right now I'm making enough as a guitarist to live comfortably and send her to a good school. I could care less what other people think of me, I only care about my daughter."

Tyler sighed and said, "Alright. We all just worry about you two is all." Azusa immediately cut in and said, "Well you can all just stop." She turned to face Tyler and continued, "I appreciate the concern but I'm just trying to live my life without everyone thinking I'm alone and scared." Tyler sighed and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you, I just wanted you to know and understand that the band is here for you." Azusa sighed and said back, "I don't want you to think that I'm ungrateful, I appreciate it, I really do. You all have helped me and Tama through a hard time but I want you to understand that right now all we want is to move on and forget about what happened in the past." Tyler stood silent for a second and then nodded. "Alright. I didn't mean to make it seem like we all worry about you, we all just look out for each other. It's part of being in a band."

Azusa looked at Tyler and managed a smile. She replied softly as she stood, "I understand, and I don't want you to think I'm being ungrateful, there are just things that I would rather forget." "I know." Tyler said calmly.

"I better get Tama ready to go. I want her to sleep on the flight home." Tyler nodded, "Alright."

Azusa walked back out of the changing room. She didn't even bother to put her hair into twin tails, she would be asleep on the plane anyway so there was no point in putting them in. She went back out into the dressing room and found Tama sitting with Wraith on the sofa. She was tapping a pair of his drum sticks off of the cushions. With a big smile on her face, she looked up at Azusa and called out happily, "Look mommy! I'm the drummer!" Azusa smiled and let out a small laugh. She then said back, "Uh oh! Wraith, when did you get replaced?" He replied back, "You know how it is, as soon a someone better comes along they get rid of the Has Been."

Azusa walked over to Tama and picked her up and held her. "Do you have everything ready to go?" She asked her. "Yep." Tama replied happily. Azusa smiled at her child as she held her in her arms. She remembered after Tama was just born and the first time she held her. She could only compare it to holding a baby kitten. It was the main reason why her daughter was given a name that was usually reserved for cats. She didn't care. She was treated like a cat throughout her entire high school career, it only made sense that this cat would one day have kittens.

"Do you have all of your homework done for school this coming week?" Azusa asked. "Yep, I did it after lunch today, just like you told me." "That's my girl." Azusa said with a smile. Tama then made her hand into horns with her pointer and pinky finger. Azusa smiled and did the same. It was their way of telling each other good job, or do your best.

A light knock came from the door and Wraith stood. "Coming." He opened the door and saw one of the security guards. He was tall and muscular and wore a black suit. He said, "You're ride is here. We can head out as soon as you're ready." Tyler nodded, "Alright, we'll be ready in ten minutes."

The security guard left and Azusa set Tama down. "Go get your things together so we can go." "Okay." Tama chirped as her tiny legs ran to get her little suitcase. Azusa too went to grab her own suitcase and made sure that Tama was ready to go so they would make it home on time.

A short time later, the band was led out of the dressing room by a small group of security guards. One of the arena employees said, "You can put your bags on this cart and we'll get them to your transport for you." They quickly loaded their bags onto a small cart and began following the guards to the exit.

When they reached the exit, one of the guards spoke up and said, "Get ready to move." They all knew why. As soon as the door was opened, flashes began to go off and cheers were heard. The path to the bus that was waiting to take them to the airport was lined with countless fans. All were cheering out their names and all were fighting to get autographs and take pictures. Azusa quickly picked up Tama into her arms and quickened her pace to the bus.

She loved the attention of the fans but right now she didn't feel like stopping. A group of fans began to shout the bands name. "Shadow! Shadow! Shadow!" They all chanted as the crowed began to cheer and whistle.

For Tama this was different then standing off to the side of the stage and watching her mother perform, she didn't like being around the crowds of fans, it made her nervous from the constant shouts and yelling. She buried her face into her mothers chest as she was carried towards the bus. "It's alright." Azusa told her calmly. "It's to loud." Tama told her. "It's okay." Azusa told her reassuringly, "We're almost to the bus."

Specter let Azusa go ahead of him so she could get Tama away from the crowd of fans. Azusa stepped inside of the bus which was lined with leather seats. She set Tama down on the side of the bus that was away from the crowd and then she sat down next to her. Azusa rested her head against the leather seat and sighed as she finally had a moment to relax after the show. She looked over at Tama who was looking out of the bus window and being unusually quiet. Azusa gently placed her hand on her daughter's tiny shoulder and calmly asked, "Hey, what's wrong?" Tama turned to face her mother and replied quietly, "Nothing, Mommy." Azusa looked at her daughter and replied, "It doesn't look like nothing, you're usually chatty after a show."

Tama sighed and faced back at the window. She replied softly, "I just don't like the crowds of noisy people when we're leaving. They yell to much…" Azusa sighed, she knew why Tama didn't like the yelling. Tama was fine when the crowd would cheer during the performance but once it was over and the music stopped the yelling was different. To Tama, it was yelling with no other sound. Yelling that Tama didn't like. It was the yelling that Tama had to put up with when she was still very young. The yelling of her abusive father.

Azusa wanted nothing more than for the both of them to forget those days. The days of his constant yelling at her and her daughter. Azusa never understood why he was always set off so easily. The smallest things would set him off. No matter what happened it was always her fault and she had to endure his verbal and eventually his physical abuse.

She just wanted those memories to disappear for the both of them. She smiled and told her daughter reassuringly, "Hey now, you don't have to be afraid of those people, their just fans. Their cheering because they like our music." Tama made another small sigh and said, "I know, I just don't like the yelling when there's no music." Azusa smiled and pulled Tama into a hug. "It's the same as the crowd cheering when we're on stage. They just want to give us one last cheer before we go." Azusa then motioned towards the crowd of people that was standing outside of the arena. "Do you see?" Tama looked up and saw the fans cheering. She knew that all of those people loved hearing her mothers music and she knew that the cheers were all for the band; but still, she didn't like yelling.

The bus pulled out and the arena faded behind walls of skyscrapers that dominated the city's skyline. Azusa heard the driver call out, "We'll be at the airport in about 25 minutes." "Cool." Phantom called back. "I can finally get a few hours of sleep."

Azusa rested her head against the leather seat and looked over and watched as Tama stared out the window as she watched the nighttime city pass by. It killed her inside knowing that something was bothering her daughter. Azusa simply put her arm around Tama and pulled her in towards her. Tama looked up at her mother who was smiling down at her. Tama smiled back and allowed herself to relax as she lay in the safety and comfort of her mothers arms.

When the bus arrived at the airport, it was already well past midnight. Tama yawned as she stood with her mother to get off the bus and head inside the airport. The band got off the bus and grabbed their bags. Tama pulled the handle up on her little suitcase and wheeled it over to her mother. Azusa grabbed her own bag and asked, "Are you ready?" Tama simply nodded and they headed inside the airport.

They quickly went through check in and headed inside the terminal. Only a few people were inside waiting to catch late night flights. On their way to the gate, they stopped several times to sign autographs for passing fans. It was fine, the small groups were better than getting rushed by an entire arena of fans who wanted an autograph and a picture.

Once at the gate, they immediately boarded and headed to their first class seats. Azusa stopped one of the flight attendants and asked, "Can I have a few extra blankets for my daughter please?" "Of course." The flight attendant replied. As more people boarded the plane, Azusa quickly made a bed for her daughter on the reclining first class seat and then said, "Lets get you into your pajamas before we take off, okay?" Tama nodded and followed her mother to the planes bathroom.

Once inside, Azusa pulled out a small travel bag and pulled out a set of pajamas. She quickly got her daughter changed and ready for bed. As Tama finished buttoning up her night shirt, Azusa asked, "Are you ready for school on Monday?" Tama nodded, "Yes, we get to start setting up for Parents Night on Thursday." "That sounds fun." Azusa replied. "It is! I can't wait to show you around the classroom and the rest of the school." Azusa smiled at her daughter. "I can't wait." She told her. "Come on, let's get back to our seats before they take off."

A while later the plane was in the air and Azusa and the rest of the band settled in for their long flight home. Tama was fast asleep with her little stuffed kitten. Her long black hair draped over her face and shoulders as she lay in her dream world. Azusa smiled as she lay next to her. She gently stroked her fingers over Tama's soft cheek as she slept.

Azusa would admit that she wished that she didn't have to travel everywhere and keep Tama from living a normal home life, but this life was keeping them financially stable and away from her ex husband. She did however like that Tama got to see the world, and that the rest of the band was always looking out for not only Tama, but herself as well.

She then felt her own eyes getting heavy and slowly Azusa felt herself drifting off to sleep.


	2. OFF THE STAGE

(CHAPTER 2) OFF THE STAGE

It was already noon by the time Azusa and the rest of the band arrived in their home town. Azusa now lived near Ocean City Maryland; far from her old life back in Japan. She didn't care, she wanted to stay as far away from her old life and memories as she could.

The band went and grabbed their luggage from baggage claim and then left. At the entrance to the airport, Azusa took Tama's hand and then they all said their good byes before they parted ways. "Great show guys." Phantom called out before he headed for his car. Ghost then added, "Yeah, see you all at practice on Thursday." "Yep." Banshee added before everyone left.

Specter and Azusa stood and watched as the rest of the band left. "Well," he said, "have a good week you two. If you wanna do something this week, just call." "Thank you Tyler." Azusa said as she pulled her car keys out of her small purse. Tyler nodded and headed off. "Take care Tama." He said. "Have a good week at school." "Thank you, I will." She replied happily.

Azusa looked down at Tama and said, "Ready to get home?" Tama simply nodded. Azusa led her daughter through the parking lot and to their car. Thanks to her bands success, Azusa was able to afford a very nice vehicle. She now drove a jet black BMW X6. She opened the back hatch and quickly packed hers and Tama's suitcases and then opened the side door and helped Tama into her booster seat. She buckled her in and then got in the drivers seat.

Azusa sighed as she pulled out onto the road. It had been a long week. Their last show was one of their larger ones with a crowd size of well over 30,000 people. Another successful sold out arena. She looked ahead at the skyline of Ocean City as the afternoon sky began to creep in. She looked in the rear view mirror and saw Tama looking out the window. She called back, "Hey, after school tomorrow, how about we go for a walk on the beach? Just you and me." Instantly, Tama's bright blue eyes lit up. She loved the ocean more than anything. "Can we really?" She asked. "Sure." Azusa told her. "We can even go to that seashell shop that you like so much." Again, Tama was filled with joy. "I can't wait!"

Azusa smiled as she pulled off of the highway and onto the road that lead towards their neighborhood. It was a short drive through a wooded area that lead towards the bay. The area was dotted with nice homes and small parks. Along the way was a rest stop with a small drive in restaurant that was simply called Dean's. Azusa called back, "How about some ice cream before we go home?" Once again, Tama's eyes lit up and she instantly called out, "Can I get a peanut butter milkshake?" Azusa smiled and said, "Sure! And I think I'll get one of those to."

Azusa pulled into the small ice cream shop and parked. She then helped Tama out of her booster seat and carried her over to the ordering window. As she walked with her daughter she could instantly tell that all of the eyes were on her. She ignored it. The attention was something that she only wanted on stage, off stage she just wanted to be treated normally.

She stood in line with Tama in her arms and all around she could hear everyone whispering about her. "Look! It's Angel!" She heard one say. "She's apparently pretty off the wall on stage." Another said. She tried to ignore it. All she wanted was to just enjoy some free time with her daughter.

"Next please." The girl working at the counter said. She then saw who her next customer was and tried to hide her gasp of surprise. "Angel…" She uttered quietly to herself. Azusa made a light smile and took notice of the Shadow wristband that the girl was wearing. Azusa calmly said, "Two small peanut butter shakes please." The girl working the counter quickly tried to refocus and said, "Sure! Coming right up."

The girl quickly typed in the order on the cash register and gave Azusa her total. As she reached in her small purse for her money she heard the girl say, "I know you must get this a lot and if not it's fine but, can you please sign this for me?" Azusa watched as the girl reached into her pocket and pull out a small piece of paper. Azusa made a light smile and calmly said, "Sure." She quickly took one of the pens from the counter and wrote her stage name, "Fallen Angel Azusa". The girl took the piece of paper and locked her eyes onto the signature. "Thank you so much!" She called out happily. "It's fine." Azusa said.

The girl, who was still on cloud nine felt another of the workers tapping her on the shoulder, "Hey, the shakes are up." He said. The girl shook her trance and instantly took them and handed them to Azusa. "Here you are. She said with a shaky voice that was full of excitement. I hope you enjoy them." "We will." Azusa told her. She then handed one of the shakes to Tama and said, "Tell her thank you." Tama smiled and chirped happily, "Thank you!"

Azusa walked with Tama around to the side of the small drive in and took a seat on one of the benches. She set Tama down next to her and the two sat and enjoyed their shakes. Azusa had no sooner taken her first sip when she heard a familiar, cold voice call out, "Oh, hello Ms. Nakano." She recognized the low, sarcastic tone. She instantly set her milkshake down on her lap and looked up to find one of the people in this world who she couldn't stand.

Brittney Edwards was the mother of one of the children in Tama's class. She was head of the PTA, involved in nearly every school activity and was strongly against any form of violence and most of all, she was against the heavy metal world. Azusa slowly looked up at her and replied softly, "Hello Mrs. Edwards." Brittney continued, "I was just on my way through and thought I would pick up a few treats for the family when I saw you and Tama sitting here." Azusa nodded and said, "We were on our way home from the airport. We thought it would be nice to get a milkshake."

Brittney raised an eyebrow and replied sarcastically, "From one of your… performances?" "Yes." Azusa said sternly. "We had a sold out show at the Rogers Arena in Vancouver last night." Brittney raised an eyebrow. "I see." She then looked at Tama who was enjoying her milkshake and not paying attention to the conversation, "And where was Tama during the show?" Azusa again sternly replied, "She was with me and the rest of the band. She watches the show from the side stage area with the rest of the crew." Brittney instantly said back, "You know that Tama is in her critical years? She can be easily influenced at that age and your style of… music that you play, probably isn't the best for her young mind. You wouldn't want her going down the wrong path in her future now, would you?" She then smirked and said, "Then again, any good parent would already know that."

Azusa roughly set her milkshake down at her side on the bench and stood up. Tama instantly gasped in shock and watched as her mother stood face to face with Brittney. "How dare you?" Azusa snapped. "You can hate my music all you want but you will not tell me that I'm a bad parent!" Azusa's hands were clenched into fists as she felt her anger rise. "You have no right to call me a bad parent. I've raised Tama by myself since she was 3, you have no idea what we've both had to go through! And don't you ever say that my music will lead her down the wrong path, she's been around it her whole life and she's growing up to be a fine young lady!"

Tama suddenly felt fear fill her. The yelling scared her; and more over, the yelling was coming from her mother. Tama felt her tiny hands begin to shake and she felt her grip loosen on her milkshake and watched as it fell to the ground and spilled all over the pavement. Instantly, tears welled up in Tama's eyes and she ran back towards the car.

Azusa heard Tama's milkshake fall and heard her tiny footsteps running away as she then realized what she had done. "Tama! Wait!" Azusa called out. "Hmph!" Brittney scoffed. "Is that the good parenting you that were just telling me about?" Azusa frowned at Brittney. She didn't even reply; she simply turned away and ran after her daughter.

"Tama!" Azusa called out as she ran towards her car. "Tama, where are you?" Azusa stopped and looked around and then heard the soft cries coming from the side of her vehicle. She found Tama facing away from her, crouched down and hugging her knees. Azusa sighed and walked towards her daughter. "Tama, I'm so sorry. Mommy didn't mean to yell like that." Azusa knew how much yelling scared Tama, and she couldn't believe that she had acted like that around her. She hated herself for it; all because of one woman who hated the fact that she was a rock star.

Tama timidly uttered out while she wiped her tears away, "I don't like it when you yell." The words stabbed Azusa in the heart. "I know sweetheart, and I'm really sorry." Azusa knelt down behind Tama and wrapped her arms around her daughter. Tama sighed and then said, "Why do people get mad at your music?" Azusa paused. There were so many reason's why people hated metal. The only answer she could give her was, "Some people just don't understand our music like you and I do."

Azusa helped Tama stand and then said calmly, "I made you drop your shake, didn't I? Do you want me to get you another one?" Tama shook her head. "No." "Are you sure?" Azusa asked. "I just want to go home." Tama said quietly. "Alright."

Azusa helped Tama into her booster seat and then drove off. The ride home was quiet. Azusa would occasionally look in the rear view mirror and see Tama looking out the window. She had a rare look of sadness in her face. Tama was always happy, and it wasn't to often that she was unhappy.

Azusa forced a smile and called back, "Hey, why don't we watch cartoons when we get home? We can watch all of your favorites." Tama looked up and quietly replied, "No thanks." Azusa was surprised, Tama would never turn down her favorite cartoons. "Really?" She asked, "Are you sure? We can watch anyone you want." "No thank you." Tama said softly as she went back to looking out of the window.

Azusa couldn't help but feel terrible, all because of the one person who she absolutely couldn't stand, the one person that drove her over the edge so much that she allowed herself to snap in front of her daughter. She knew that yelling was something that she couldn't do around Tama but she allowed her anger to push through. She hated herself for it.

She turned onto her street and pulled up towards her large home that sat right on the Isle of Wight Bay that overlooked the skyline of Ocean City, Maryland. Her home was large but nothing to over the top. It was a two floored home with large duel panoramic windows that shone into the living room. The yard was neatly kept with a curved driveway that led to a duel car garage as well as a decent sized backyard that overlooked the large bay and had neatly kept arrangements of flowers that surrounded a patio with sets of white patio furniture.

She pulled in the garage and parked. After helping Tama out of her booster seat, she pulled out both of their suitcases. "Hey Tama, are you hungry?" She looked up to hear Tama's answer and noticed that she had already gone inside. Azusa sighed sadly. She just wanted Tama to know that she was sorry and that she wouldn't yell like that around her anymore.

She wheeled the two suitcases inside the house and closed the basement door. She looked around and assumed that Tama had already gone upstairs. She wheeled the two suitcases to her room and unpacked. All of Tama's clothes she laid out and sorted them for the laundry. She then opened her bag and pulled out her dirty clothes as well as her stage costume. She took the long, black ribbons that dangled from her detached sleeves and set them aside. They weren't able to be washed with the rest of the outfit. She laid her stage clothes out and sorted them with her other black clothes for her own laundry.

She would ordinarily wait until morning to start her house work but tonight she needed to take her mind off of things. She went back down into the basement and started her laundry and then went back upstairs to see if she needed to go grocery shopping after Tama went to school. As she was looking through the pantry, she heard Tama's tiny footsteps and turned to see her walking towards the living room.

"Hey." Azusa said calmly. Tama stopped and looked up at her mother, "What do you want me to make you for lunch tomorrow?" Tama paused and uttered out, "Can I have a peanut butter sandwich?" "Of course." Azusa walked up to Tama and knelt down in front of her. She calmly said, "I'll even pack you some of those fruit snacks that you like so much." "Okay." Tama mumbled. Azusa sighed and then said, "Mommy is really sorry for scaring you earlier." Azusa held her arms out and Tama slowly walked towards her and felt her mother hugging her. Azusa felt her voice tremble. She took in a sharp breath and said, "I know things haven't been easy for us because of what daddy did but that's all gone now. Me and you have our new life where no one will be mean to us like that ever again." Tama silently nodded her head as Azusa embraced her. "We have our new life now, and we have the rest of the band to protect us. Everything is okay now."

Tama uttered out, "I'm sorry that I ran off today." Don't be." Azusa told her calmly. "It was my fault for yelling; and I'm going to make it up to you." Tama looked up at her mother as she continued, "At our next show, I want you to help out the guitar crew." Tama's eyes widened. "Do I get to help with your guitars too?" Azusa nodded, "Yep, I want you to help me switch guitars for different songs. Do you think you can do that?" Tama nodded. "Yes! I can. I know which guitar you use for each song too!" "Oh really?" Azusa said with a grin, "So if I told you I needed a guitar for when I play the song "Nightfall" which one would you give me?" With a smile Tama replied, "The guitar that's in Drop D tuning!" Azusa laughed and hugged her child. "Okay," She said, "You're hired."

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><p>A few hours had passed since Azusa had apologized to Tama. It was now dark out and Azusa was sitting on the patio behind her home and looking at the skyline of Ocean City as it glowed with countless flickering lights that reflected off of the bay. She was sitting up with one of her newer guitars resting in her lap. It was a B.C. Rich Virgin that was painted onyx black with color changing beveled edges that when held in the light would morph color between purple, gold, and copper. She had just finished putting new heavy gage strings on it and was now putting it in tune.<p>

She quickly ran through the scales on the strings and adjusted the tuning knobs to the correct sound. Once her new guitar was in tune she pulled it up to playing position and began to strum a few heavy chords. Her tune went from solid heavy riffs to faster guitar solo's that she had wrote. All were played at a very fast pace but at the moment lacked their full luster due to the fact that her guitar wasn't hooked into an amp.

As she went into another solo, she paused when she heard her cell phone ringing. She set her guitar pick down and looked at her phone. Her eye's widened when she saw the name pop up on the screen. "Mio." She uttered.

Azusa picked up the phone and answered in Japanese. "Mio." She said calmly. "I haven't heard from you in almost 2 years." Mio replied in her usual calm tone. "I know. I've missed you since you left, we all have." Azusa paused with a light smile as she gripped her new guitar, "How is everyone?" "Their all doing well," Mio told her, "Mugi finished college not to long ago, Ritsu's been working for a recording studio, and even Yui's managed to get her life moving." "What is Yui doing now?" Azusa asked. She would admit that even she was surprised that Yui actually found a career. "What does she do now?" Azusa asked. Mio replied, "She writes and composes children's songs." Azusa sighed and thought to herself, "So she still hasn't changed much." She laughed and then asked, "How about you? I know you write articles for rock magazines, is that still going well for you?"

Mio replied, "Yes, it's great, I get to meet a lot of the new bands and the more popular ones. We've been doing articles for a lot of heavier bands lately." Azusa replied, "Well if you ever need to get a hold of people in bands, let me know. I know most of them." Mio replied, "That's why I'm calling." "It is?" Azusa asked. "Yes." Mio continued, "I was calling to ask if I could do an article on Shadow. You guys have really grown in popularity over the past few years. I know other magazines have already interviewed you guys but now your music is starting to get very popular in Japan. I know you all have a show coming up this weekend at the Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh. I was planning on flying in and watching your show and then talking with you all afterwards. That and I've never had a chance to see you play live in Shadow, I've only seen clips online."

"Sure!" Azusa said back, "That would be great. I haven't seen you in so long, and Tama will want to see you too." "How is Tama." Mio asked. "I know that when you left Japan she was only 3, I don't know if she even remembers me." Azusa sat back in her chair and again found herself looking at the skyline of Ocean City. "She's growing up so fast…"

Azusa found herself talking with Mio for a while and eventually lost track of time. By the time they had finished talking, it was nearly 11:30 at night. When the two finally said their good byes, Azusa went back inside her home and set her new guitar on one of the guitar stands that was in her living room. She then shut out all of her downstairs lights and went upstairs to get ready for bed. As she went down the hall towards her bedroom, she stopped to check on Tama. She peeked inside her room and found her daughter fast asleep with her stuffed kitten. She smiled and quietly closed her door.

She then went into her own room and changed into her pajamas and flopped down into her large bed. She looked around, her walls were decorated with several of her bands framed posters and several of her guitars which hung on wall hangers. She slowly covered herself up and set her alarm before turning her lights out and trying to sleep. As she lay in the darkness she couldn't help but notice her mind wander about so many things. Ranging from upcoming concerts, housework that needed to be done, and more important things like Mio coming to see her and Tama's upcoming week at school. Most of her nights were like this. Her mind racing with constant thoughts until finally she felt herself drifting off to sleep.


	3. IN THE PUBLIC EYE

I'm going to New York this week to see RAMMSTEIN (The greatest band of all time!) live at the Izod Center. I wanted to get this chapter posted before I leave. So enjoy!

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><p>(CHAPTER 3) IN THE PUBLIC EYE<p>

It was early Thursday morning. The sun was starting to rise above the skyline of Ocean City as Azusa stood in the kitchen of her home making her daughters lunch for school. It wasn't anything fancy, just the typical lunch of a 5 year old: a juice box, peanut butter and banana sandwich, carrot sticks, and a small pack of fruit snacks. As she packed the food into Tama's Spongebob lunch box she found her mind being constantly flooded with thoughts.

A lot had happened since the other day when Azusa had lost her temper in front of Tama. She was constantly thinking of what kind of reputation that was bound to get her with the other parents. She already knew that the other parents didn't take her role as a mother seriously. She knew that the other parents thought that she was nothing more than a rock star and into nothing other than sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

The thought made her laugh to herself. She was the polar opposite of the typical rock star off stage. She hadn't had sex since before Tama was born. As for drugs; she wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she did try weed once, long before she became a parent. It was during a time in her life when she just wanted to let go and live a little. However, she never liked the effect and hadn't done any form of drugs since. And as for rock and roll; to her, that was her job. Being on stage and playing guitar and wowing crowds of thousands was her version of a 9 to 5 work day. Aside from that, all she cared about was making sure that her daughter was happy and that she was able to keep providing for her. It was a typical thought that anyone who wasn't involved with the music industry as looking to anyone in a band as living a wild and crazy lifestyle. No one seemed to realize that musicians, herself, and the rest of her band included lived normal lives off stage.

It wasn't until she heard the news anchor on the living room TV say, "It's just about 7am on this beautiful Thursday morning…" that she snapped from her trance and quickly finished getting Tama's things ready. She then left the kitchen and went upstairs to Tama's room.

She opened the door to find her daughter sleeping peacefully under her Spongebob blanket. Most of the things that Tama liked aside from her mother's music was Spongebob, and her room was decorated mostly with the cartoon character. The only thing that wasn't Spongebob in her room was the two posters that hung in her room just above her bed. Two posters of Azusa's band, Shadow. One poster had the entire band posed in a dark setting with all of the members posed on the side of what was meant to be a mountain with storm clouds in the background, and the other was a poster of Azusa standing in her black, gothic stage clothes and holding one of her signature B.C. Rich guitars. In this case the guitar she was holding was her B.C. Rich Beast, her favorite out of all the guitars that she owned.

She walked over to Tama's bed and calmly said, "Tama, it's time to wake up. You have a big day at school today." Tama groaned and pulled her Spongebob blanket over her head. "5 more minutes…" She groaned. Azusa smiled and said, "I already let you sleep in a little later." She then leaned down and pulled Tama's cover off to find her daughter curled up with her eyes still closed. Tama sighed and slowly opened her bright blue eyes and groggily sat up. Azusa knelt down in front of her and said, hurry up and get dressed, Mommy made pop tarts for breakfast!" Tama looked over to Azusa with her sleepy eyes and uttered out, "Are they the strawberry ones with sprinkles?" Azusa smiled and said back, "Yep! I bought a new box last night just for you." Tama sighed and said, "…I'll be right down." Azusa laughed to herself and said, "I thought that might get you moving."

Azusa left Tama to change and went back downstairs to get Tama's breakfast ready. She put two pop tarts in the toaster and poured two glasses of milk. She then switched the TV from the news to cartoons so Tama could watch while she ate her breakfast.

It was almost like clockwork. As soon as the toaster popped, she could hear Tama's tiny feet coming down the stairs and then headed for the table. Azusa set her milk and pop tart in front of her and said, "Be careful, it's still hot." Tama nodded and began to blow on it. Azusa too sat down next to her with the other pop tart and her own glass of milk and simply enjoyed spending time with her daughter.

"Are you ready for school?" Azusa asked. Tama nodded as she took her first bite and then replied, "Yes, we're setting up for parent's night today." Tama then looked up at her mother and continued, "I can't wait for everyone to see you play guitar tonight!" Azusa paused. She knew that the parents were supposed to explain to the class of what their job was and if they could, give some sort of demonstration of what it is that they do. Before she could think on it more, she heard Tama ask her, "What song are you going to play for my class?" Azusa looked down at Tama and paused for a second. The truth was, she didn't even know. She simply replied, "It's a surprise."

A while later, Azusa stood on her front porch and watched as Tama headed for the school bus. Before she got on, she quickly turned and with a smile on her face, made her hands into the rocker style horns and said, "Bye Mommy!" Azusa returned the gesture and calmly replied, "Have a good day sweet heart."

Azusa watched as the school bus drove down the road and finally out of sight. She sighed and then turned and went back into her house. As she closed the front door, she stood and thought. Her music style wouldn't be accepted by anyone in Tama's kindergarten class other than by the two of them. A thought then dawned on her.

She quickly went back upstairs and into her bedroom. She quickly opened up her large walk in closet and went to one of the shelves on the closet wall. Buried beneath pairs of shoes and other things, she found a small notebook. She pulled it out and opened it up. Inside was page after page of guitar tabs that she had written from back in high school when she was still in a band with the other girls. It was all music she had written and even the guitar tabs to the songs that her and her friends used to play.

She flipped through the old songs and even read through the notes that Yui, Mio, Ritsu, and Mugi had written throughout the book. Most were small suggestions to the songs or what to do at a certain point of the song during the live shows and most were from Yui writing random cute things. It brought a smile back to Azusa's face.

Before she could read through anymore, she heard her phone ringing. She quickly stood up and went back into her bedroom and answered the phone that was on her nightstand. "Hello." She said softly. She heard the reply of, "Azusa, it's Ashley." "Oh hey Ashley." Azusa replied, "What's up?" Ashley continued, "I was going for a morning walk on the boardwalk and wanted to know if you wanted to go with me." "Sure." Azusa replied, "Are you leaving now?" "In a little bit. Would you like to meet at the 35th street boardwalk entrance at about 8:00?" Ashley asked. Azusa nodded and said, "Sure I'll see you then."

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><p>Azusa pulled her BMW into a small parking lot at the far entrance of the boardwalk. She was a few minutes early and Ashley still hadn't arrived. She quickly put her long raven black hair into a single pony tail and put a baseball cap on to hide her face. She was in normal street clothes and hoped that this would keep people from recognizing her while she tried to enjoy her morning walk with her friend. She got out of her car and headed up to the boardwalk.<p>

It was a beautiful morning. It was warm and sunny and the smell of the ocean filled the air as the sea gulls flew over head and the sound of the waves crashing echoed off of the surrounding building. Azusa went to the sea wall on the edge of the boardwalk and leaned over and simply looked at the ocean as she waited for Ashley to arrive.

Around her, other morning walkers were out and enjoying this beautiful day. No one seemed to notice that she was there or who she was which she was grateful for. She found herself spacing out and not even realizing that someone was coming up behind her.

As she stared at the ocean she then felt two pointer fingers being jabbed into her sides and sending a jolt up through her body. Azusa yelped in surprise and made a "Nya!" noise. She then quickly turned to see Ashley standing and holding her two pointer fingers up. Ashley was a taller girl around the same age as Azusa. She had shoulder length brown hair and bright green eyes. She was wearing simple summer clothes and had a pair of sunglasses resting on the top of her head. She also had a son named Shane who was in Tama's class. "Jumper cables!" she called out. "And did you just meow at me?" She asked. Azusa rubbed her hands on her sides where she had just gotten poked. She lowered her head in embarrassment and said, "I don't want to talk about it." Ashley simply laughed.

The two started their walk and Ashley asked, "So how's life, Azusa?" Azusa sighed and said, "It's alright I guess. We're on tour so it's kinda hectic right now making sure that we get to all of our shows and that Tama makes it back in time for school." "I can imagine." Ashley replied, "You do those huge live shows and then come home to live a normal life. I don't know how you do it." Azusa made a light laugh and said, "You're the only one who seems to think I'm normal." Ashley looked at Azusa and asked, "What do you mean?" Azusa sighed and said, "It's a long story." Ashley shrugged and replied as she motioned towards the boardwalk, "Well we've got a long walk." Azusa hesitated and Ashley continued, "What happened? You're not your usual cheerful self today, Azusa."

Azusa paused before she finally spoke. "Ashley… do you think I'm a bad parent?" Ashley stopped walking and looked at Azusa. With a rare look of concern on her face she then asked, "Who said you were a bad parent." Azusa stood and shrugged, "Who probably isn't calling me one? Everyone thinks I'm a satanic, drug using rock star." "But you aren't." Ashley protested. Azusa again paused and looked out at the ocean. She then quietly uttered, "Tell that to Brittney." Ashley walked over to Azusa and asked, "Is that who said that to you?" Azusa didn't respond, she simply looked at the ocean as Ashley continued, "Don't listen to a word she says. She's one of those Prozac mom's who thinks that her family is golden. She's given Shane problems too about the way he acts and she's not even a teacher. She just likes to flaunt her authority because she thinks being the head of the PTA makes her high and mighty."

Azusa sighed and uttered out, "I just don't know anymore." Ashley smiled and walked over to her as she continued calmly, "Hey now, is Tama unhappy? Does she come home from school everyday crying?" Azusa looked at her and replied, "She was upset the other day when I yelled at Brittney in front of her." "You yelled at Brittney?" Ashley laughed, "Over what?" Azusa paused and then replied, "It's a long story." Ashley again started to walk and motioned for Azusa to follow and she said, "I told you, we have a long walk."

The boardwalk was about 3 miles end to end and it took about and hour and a half to walk each way. It was still early and the shops were starting to open. At the end of the boardwalk near where the large entertainment district was, the two stopped in one of the smaller coffee shops for a break.

After the two ordered and got their drinks, Ashley continued as she took her first sip of her drink. "Don't let this whole parent's night thing get you so worked up. I'll be there tonight with you and I have to explain to everyone my job too." "That's just it." Azusa said quietly as she set her smoothie down. "All of the other parent's that are going to be there have normal jobs, like something in an office or factory workers. It's going to be really awkward when I go up and tell everyone that my job is the lead guitarist for an industrial metal band." Ashley gave her usual cheerful smile and instantly replied, "That's just it! You're going to have the most interesting job out of anyone there tonight. I mean come on! I work at a department store, not very exciting compared to a rock star!" Azusa sighed as she stirred her straw in her smoothie.

She paused and then uttered out, "Most of the other parent's don't seem to think so. They think my music pollutes the minds of the youth." Ashley laughed, "That's not true, me and you both know that they pollute their minds on their own, not through music." Azusa cracked a smile, "Tell that to Brittney." Ashley raised an eyebrow and shot back, "I told you not to care about what she says. I own all of your CD's and listen to them quite often and I don't think anything is wrong with your style of music. Sure it's heavy and harsh sounding but unlike some people, I actually listen to the lyrics. You guys sing about heartbreak, dark fairy tales, and fire. Not Satan and killing people. Sure sometimes the lyrics get a little on the risqué side but who cares, because you told me a long time ago when I first met you, that that's what industrial metal is about."

Azusa smiled and calmly said, "You're a good friend Ashley, do you know that?" Ashley smiled and nodded, "I know, and that's why you keep hanging around me." The two then laughed. This was a major relief for Azusa. She was tired of people thinking that she was a bad parent, and Ashley at least supported her and helped her look on the bright side. In a way Ashley was a lot like Ritsu. Ashley then cut in and asked, "So have you thought about what you're going to do tonight then?" Azusa paused and leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed behind her head. "Let's see…" She thought for a second and said, "Well, in that letter that Tama brought home, it said that if we can, we're supposed to give demonstration of what we do, so I was thinking of bringing in one of my guitars and a small amp and playing one of the songs I did in high school with my old band."

"That's sounds cool." Ashley said, "I never heard you're old music. Was it a metal band too?" Azusa leaned back in towards her drink and took another sip. She then uttered out, "Not exactly." "Well what kind of music was it?" Ashley asked. Azusa smiled and paused for a moment as she thought back to her high school days. The days of doing nothing but spending time with the other girls in the music room. Sure, sometimes Yui would bother her and the practice sessions would rarely happen; but still, it wasn't until recently that she realized just how much she was missing those days. She looked back at Ashley and said, "We played pop music and soft rock. A big jump from what I play now."

Ashley smiled and said, "Cool! You'll have to let me listen to those songs sometime." Azusa replied, "Well, come over to my place after our walk. I'm going to go through all of my old stuff and pick a song to play for tonight. You can help me pick one if you want." Ashley gave a thumbs up and called back, "Sounds like a plan."

Azusa then heard a soft, "Excuse me, Angel?" Come from beside her. She looked over and saw a boy in his mid teens wearing a Shadow band t-shirt and holding out a piece of paper and a pen. "Would you sign this for me?" He asked with shaking hands as if he were asking a question to God himself. Azusa smiled and calmly said, "Sure." She quickly wrote her stage name, posed for a quick picture and then turned back to Ashley as her fan went on his way. "Sorry about that." She said. Ashley smiled and said back with a laugh, "And you say you don't like your job!"


	4. ROCKER MOM

Sorry for the delay. Been busy over these past few days. I'm trying my best with regular updates but it's tough. I'm also trying my best to write the performance parts of my chapters the best that I can to hopefully give a little bit of visual as to how the songs are being played.

Also, RAMMSTEIN was amazing to see live again! (Best band EVER!)

(CHAPTER 4) ROCKER MOM

Azusa led Ashley inside her home. It was still early afternoon and Tama wouldn't be off school for a few more hours. "Just wait down here, I'll run up and grab some of my old song books and CD's." Azusa called out as she quickly went up to her room. "Alright." Ashley said while she walked towards the living room.

Ashley couldn't help but stop and admire Azusa's home. She wouldn't admit that she was jealous; however, she too wished that she could afford a home like this. The walls were decorated in band memorabilia, including several of Azusa's guitars as well as posters of her band and magazine articles featuring herself and the rest of Shadow. This wasn't her first visit, but she couldn't help but look every time she came for a visit.

She went over and sat down on the large, black leather sofa and waited for Azusa. She looked around and noticed Tama's collection of Spongebob DVD's as well as other movies that were kept neatly on a large DVD shelf. She was amazed at how neat and clean Azusa kept her home. Even for being a single parent and always busy with her career, she still found time to be a model home owner.

Azusa then came down the stairs and into the living room. She set down an old notebook and a stack of CD's. "This is all I have as far as the music goes. We didn't really record much." "That's fine." Ashley said as she opened up the notebook. She paused as soon as she looked at the first page. Everything was written in guitar tabs and Japanese. "…About that." Ashley commented. Azusa smiled and said, "I would have been amazed if you were able to read this." "Me too." Ashley remarked.

Azusa began to flip through the pages and looked through the songs. She saw all of the old classics that her and the other's used to play: Cagayake! Girls, Don't say lazy, GO! GO! MANIAC, and so many others. She read through all of the notes about their live shows and random guitar notes that were randomly thrown in. Ashley then asked, "Any ideas?" Azusa paused and then replied, "I'm not sure. Their all songs that we all loved and that we all put hard work into."

Azusa then flipped towards the back of the notebook and saw as a folded piece of paper fell out. "What's that?" Ashley asked. Azusa slowly pulled the piece of paper up and unfolded it. She looked at it and saw that it was a song she had written after Yui, Mio, Mugi, and Ritsu graduated. It was a song about how she wasn't going to let anything hold her back, a song about how she was going to live her own life and not let anyone stand in her way. It was a song that honestly gave her a step towards writing heavier music that she thought would turn her into a rebel. Now, so many years ahead of those feelings, she was writing nothing but the heavy music that she loved.

She calmly uttered out the song's title. "Watashi wa watashi no michi mo yuku." Ashley looked over and asked, "What does it mean?" Azusa paused and then said, "I'm walking my own road." She looked up at Ashley and said, "This song means a lot to me. I wrote it when I realized that I didn't want anything to hold me back from my dreams. It was something that I did completely by myself, I even played the other instrument parts myself and recorded it. I think I'm the only one who has ever heard it. It's nothing heavy, just a random pop song I wrote."

"Well there you go!" Ashley called out. "You have your song for tonight." Azusa paused and looked at the songs sheet music. "Do you think?" "Duh!" Ashley said, "You've been telling me all morning how people have been holding you back because of your career. Shove it back in their face with this song!" Azusa then sifted through the stack of CD's and found near the bottom, a disk with the songs title written in Japanese. "Do you think it's a good idea? I'm starting to rethink the whole song idea. Maybe I should just do a demonstration with some chords and maybe a solo or two." "No!" Ashley called out, "Don't back out now. This is your chance to show to all the people who doubt you that you're more than just a metal head. Show them that you mean business with this song." Azusa smiled and said, "It will be weird singing this in English you know." "So what." Ashley said, "It'll be great." Azusa sighed, "I hope so."

The phone began to ring. "Hang on a second." Azusa said softly as she got up and answered the phone. "Hello." She said. She heard Tyler on the other end and he sounded excited. "Azusa, you need to get over to the studio! We had an idea for our song My Little Angel. You need to hear it." "Can't you just tell me over the phone?" Azusa asked, "I have company over. "So bring whoever it is with you! This can't wait, so see you in 15 minutes!" Tyler then hung up the phone. "Tyler? …Tyler?" Azusa called out. She sighed and hung up the phone. "…Jeez, Specter."

"Who was it?" Ashley asked. Azusa sighed and said, "I don't suppose that you would want to go to a band meeting, would you?" Ashley raised an eyebrow and asked, "With all of Shadow?" "Yeah, they apparently have an idea for our new live show and this can't wait for some reason." "Sure." Ashley said back, "I've never seen your band behind the scenes before. It could be fun." Azusa sighed and said, "Well whatever it is obviously involves me because they want me there now." "So let's get going." Ashley said back.

Azusa led Ashley to her garage and the two got into her BMW and headed for downtown Ocean City. It was a short drive to the studio. They pulled up to the building and Azusa drove up to a metal gate. She was greeted by a security guard who instantly recognized her and let her in the private parking lot. She parked next to the other band members cars and the two got out and headed for the building.

Once inside, they were greeted by a woman who worked at the front desk, she saw Azusa and said, "Hello Azusa, the other's are waiting for you in the equipment room." Azusa nodded, "Alright, thank you." She then motioned for Ashley to follow. As they walked, Ashley asked, "The equipment room?" Azusa replied, "Yeah, it's where we keep the stage when it's disassembled and all of the props we use during the show." "Neat!" Ashley called out, "Do I get to see the flame throwers that you guys use?" Azusa shrugged, "They might be in there, either that or their already in the equipment trucks and getting ready to head to our next show."

Azusa approached the equipment room and saw they keyboard player, Banshee, standing next to the door. "Hey Nick, are the other's inside?" Nick nodded and said, "Yeah, and you better get in there fast because Tyler is getting antsy." Azusa nodded and headed for the door. As they walked in, Ashley stopped and Banshee and said, "Hi, really big fan!" And then continued inside.

Inside, Azusa saw the other band members standing around a black box with gold trim running around it. "…What in the world?" Azusa said out loud. The band instantly turned and Tyler pointed at Azusa and yelled out, "You!" "Me!" Azusa shot back. Tyler rushed over to her and continued, "Just the girl I needed." He then motioned her over to the black box and Azusa instantly noticed that it was a large coffin. "Who's dead?" Azusa asked. Tyler cracked a smile and replied, "You are! Once you're on stage that is." "Excuse me?" Azusa asked. Tyler then said, "This is for when we play My Little Angel."

Tyler then said eagerly, "You're going to be wearing these pretty wings…," Wraith walked over with a pair of white feathered angel wings that were lined with silver ribbon. He held them up and said, "Angel wings for Angel." Tyler then continued, "We play through the song like usual, but!" He called out as he motioned toward the pair of wings. "I drag you to center stage, and then I start ripping your feathers out." Tyler then pulled out a hand full of the white feathers and fake blood splashed out from where the feathers once were. Tyler continued, "It gets gruesome with red stage lighting and you acting like you're being attacked. Then for the main effect, I need to give you a fake punch and have you act like you get knocked out."

Azusa raised an eyebrow. She was about to protest but was cut off as Tyler continued, "I know what you're going to say Angel, but just hear me out!" Azusa sighed and then said, "…Go on." Tyler then motioned towards the coffin and continued, "Next! I throw you over my shoulder and put you inside this coffin." Azusa looked over as she watched Ghost and Phantom holding their arms out at the coffin like a game show host would at an amazing prize. Tyler then took her and Ashley to look at the coffin. Azusa looked inside and saw a small bar of metal holding 3 small tubes with wires coming out of them, obviously loaded pyro charges. She also saw a metal screen that looked like it could be extended and retracted to cover her.

"And this is for…?" Azusa questioned. "I'm glad you asked!" Tyler said. "If you and your friend would step back here, I'll show you." Both Azusa and Ashley stepped back and watched as Tyler called out, "Show them Ghost." Ghost nodded and walked up to a ladder. He put on a thick, black welding glove and held a large metal bucket which he took to the top of the ladder with him. Tyler then continued, "Obviously, the stage has been refitted with a platform to raise me up for this part."

Ghost got to the top of the ladder with the bucket and Tyler called out, "Hit it!" Ghost nodded and tipped the bucket. Instantly a plume of gold sparks poured from a pyro charge from within the bucket and poured over the coffin like fluttering embers. Tyler then said, "And from the bottom of the stage, fire is going to come up and surround the coffin while the sparks pour on it. And for the grand finale, we do this!" Tyler then walked over to a small detonator box and pushed down a small red button. Instantly, an ear deafening explosion erupted from one of the small pyro charges that were placed on the top of the coffin, sending out a plume of fluttering gold and crackling sparks. "Jesus!" Azusa called out as she jumped and held her ears. Ashley did the same as the second explosion went off. "BOOM!" Tyler called out as the third loud bang erupted from the coffin.

The shower of sparks stopped pouring from the bucket in Ghosts hand and the room quieted down as smoke filled the area. Tyler then turned towards Azusa and said, "So what do you think?" Azusa looked at him as she took her hands away form her ears. "I think that was way to loud." Ashley mumbled. Azusa raised an eyebrow and said, "So you want to rip apart my angel wings, make me bleed, beat me up, put me in a coffin, set it on fire, and blow me up not once, but 3 times?" Tyler simply nodded and said, "Yeah, pretty much. Also, when you come out of the coffin, you'll be changed from your usual black outfit into this." Tyler then reached into a small box and pulled out a pure, white and silver outfit. It was basically the same outfit that she already wore only not a hint of black was on it, and it was covered almost completely with light reflective, colorful sequins.

"…Really?" Azusa asked with annoyance. "Yes!" Tyler said back eagerly. It shows that you die during the performance but then your spirit lives on." Azusa looked at the outfit and sighed. "I like the outfit." Ashley said, "I think it will look good on you." Azusa looked at the rest of the band and then at Tyler. "Do you know how loud that was?" "Just hold your ears while you're in there." Azusa paused and then said, "Fine…" "Sweet!" Tyler called out, "This is why we all love you!" Azusa rolled her eyes and smiled, "Yeah, I know." Tyler then said, "Alright, we'll rehearse it all on stage before the show in Pittsburgh this weekend. I already have the crew working all the new effects into the stage so we should be good to go."

Azusa looked at her watch. She then said, "Alright, but me and Ashley need to get going, our kids are going to be home from school soon. And I have to get ready for parents night." "Alright." Tyler said, "Good luck tonight, Angel. And tell Tama that we all said hi." Azusa smiled and said, "Thanks, I will."

* * *

><p>Azusa pulled back into her driveway. As she parked she looked at Ashley and said, "Sorry about that, the guys can get a little excited when they come up with new idea's for our shows." Ashley simply smiled and said, "Nothing to be sorry for. I had fun, and I think it's exciting that you're actually going to let Specter blow you up in that coffin." Azusa's eyebrow twitched and she thought to herself, "<em>Why is it always me?" <em>Ashley hopped out of Azusa's BMW and said, "Well I better be getting home. Shane will be home soon and I need to get dinner started and then get ready for tonight." As Ashley got into her own car, she turned and waved goodbye and said, "See you tonight, and don't get so worked up over this." Azusa watched as Ashley drove away. She sighed to herself. "I hope your right."

She went back inside and into her own small recording studio. She stood and looked at her guitars that were hanging on the wall. All of her guitars were B.C. Rich, and all were unique and strangely shaped. It was one of the things that turned her to B.C. Rich in the first place, their guitars were always different and not the standard Les Paul, V, or Strat shape.

She then saw one guitar which today seemed to stand out to her above all of the others in the room. It was a B.C. Rich Warlock that was colored a dark candy purple. She reached up and pulled it off of its wall mount and held it. She hadn't played this one in a while. It was one of her guitars that she bought right after she moved to the US. She had only played it in a hand full of live shows and only really used it when she was recording her first album with Shadow.

She sat down in the chair in front of the computer in her recording studio and set the guitar on her lap. She pulled a pick out of her pocket and strummed the strings only to hear a dull tone. "Out of tune." She said to herself. She quickly tuned each string until it was back in Standard tuning and sounding flawless.

She strummed a few more chords and played a few parts to some of Shadow's songs before she carried the guitar down to her living room. She leaned it against her leather sofa and then brought out a small amp that doubled as a CD player to make it easier to play along with a song. She plugged the amp in and then ran a cable from it to her Warlock. She then sat down and played a few noted and adjusted the sound until it was satisfactory.

She then put the CD of her song into her amp and began to play. It had been years since she had last played this song, but it felt like she had played it only hours before. She remembered every note and every effect she used. She even remembered every lyric as she sang along. She found herself closing her eyes and openly singing with a smile on her face. It had been so long since she played her old style of music.

She ran through the song several times as well as tried singing the lyrics in English. She would have to sing it that way because she knew that the only one who would understand the song in Japanese would be Tama.

After a while, she strummed out the final notes and finished her final run through of the song. Again, it was like clockwork. As soon as she set her guitar down and leaned it against the sofa, Tama came in through the front door after her day of school. "Mommy!" She called out happily. Azusa stood and went to greet her child. "Hey sweetie, how was school?" Tama smiled and said, "Good! We got everything set up for tonight, I told my friends that you were going to bring one of your guitars and they're all really excited!" Azusa smiled and said, "That's good. Why don't you go get changed and I'll make us some dinner before tonight, does that sound good?" Tama nodded with approval. "Alright then." Azusa said, "Do you want macaroni and cheese?" "Yep!" Tama called out as she was already heading up to her room.

* * *

><p>It was nearly 6:30 in the evening when Azusa pulled into the parking lot of Tama's elementary school. She quickly parked and Helped Tama out of her booster seat. She then opened the back hatch of her car and pulled out a black gig bag which had her Warlock inside, and then grabbed her small amp. She quickly slung the gig bag on her back and carried her amp in her free hands and said to Tama, "Are you ready?" "Mhmm!" Tama nodded happily, "Follow me, I'll show you how to get to my class room!" Azusa smiled and said, "Alright."<p>

As she walked towards the school, she saw several of the other parents of the children in Tama's class. They were all talking amongst themselves. Azusa felt her smile slowly fade from her face. One of the parents she saw was Brittney Edwards. Azusa did her best not to make eye contact with her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Brittney take notice of her coming, obviously seeing her guitar and amp as well. She watched as she turned to the other mothers and whisper something. She didn't know what but she watched as the others turned to face her and then laugh to themselves.

To Azusa, it was like taking a knife to the heart. She knew that these parents and most of all, Brittney didn't like her, and all because of her music. She simply sighed to herself and tried to ignore it. As she walked past, she heard Brittney call out. "Miss. Nakano, are you planning on rocking the class room?" Azusa heard the other parent's giggle to themselves and she simply replied as calmly as she could, "No, I'm just giving my job demonstration, just like the rest of you are." Brittney nodded and said sarcastically, "I see. Just try to keep the volume down, I like my hearing." The other parent's instantly started to laugh.

Tama looked over at all of the commotion and then asked, "What's everyone laughing at?" Azusa wanted to scream, words couldn't describe how much all of this was getting to her. But right now, all she could do was fake a smile and say back to Tama, "Nothing Sweetie, it's grownup stuff." Azusa then motioned Tama forward and the two went inside the school.

Inside the school was crowded with children and their parents. It was noisy and filled with the sounds of people talking and other children rushing back and forth to see their friends from class. Azusa looked down at Tama and said, "Which way do we go?" Tama instantly headed off down one of the long hallways and said, "This way!" Azusa followed her child and called out, "It's crowded so don't run, okay?"

She continued down the long hallway that was lined with classrooms and pictures hanging on the walls that the children had drawn. As she walked, she watched as some of the parent's stopped and looked at her, obviously knowing who she was and seeing a guitar on her back and an amp in hand. She would watch from the corner of her eye as they would lean in and whisper to one another, hearing a few of them say, "It's that rocker mom, you know the one who plays that heavy metal."

All she could do was push it aside and think to herself, "_You're a celebrity. Maybe more to some than others, but it's something you need to ignore."_ She could only brush passed the people and keep walking until she heard Tama say, "Here we are." Azusa looked up and saw Tama skip into the classroom with a door that was covered in suns that the children had made out of yellow paint and their hand prints.

She walked in the classroom, already finding Tama happily talking with some of her friends as well as seeing other parent's talking. She then saw a woman approach her and say kindly, "Hello, you must be Miss. Nakano, Tama's mother. I'm her teacher Miss. Summer, it's nice to meet you." The instant thought of someone treating her like a normal person sent joy through Azusa's mind. She then quickly replied with a traditional Japanese bow, "Y-yes! I'm Azusa Nakano. It's very nice to meet you."

Miss. Summer was a tall and slender woman, looking only to be a year or two older than Azusa. She had long brown hair that was kept in a pony tail that went down to her mid back. She had a calm demeanor and her personality reminded Azusa a lot of Mugi. Miss. Summer then said, "Oh, I see you brought one of your guitars for a demonstration of your job." Azusa nodded and then asked, "Yeah, I hope that's okay? I didn't know what else to bring. I doubt that kindergarteners would be interested in seeing paperwork for booking arenas and touring schedules." Miss. Summer smiled and said, "Not at all. Tama's been telling me all week about how excited she is to watch you play for the class. I don't blame her. I'm actually a fan of your music myself."

Azusa felt another wave of acceptance flow through her. "Really?" She asked. "Well thank you. I'm glad you like our music." Miss. Summer nodded and continued, "Yes, I actually liked the heavier music when I was growing up. Mostly the heavy stuff from the 90's and up." Miss. Summer then stopped herself and said, "That amp must be heavy. Feel free to set it behind my desk until you're ready for your presentation." Azusa nodded. "Thank you."

More parent's began to come in and Miss. Summer calmly said, "I better go greet the other people coming. I'll talk with you more later." Azusa nodded as Tama's teacher waved and then went to greet the other families coming in. Azusa smiled as she set her amp and gig bag down. It felt good that someone actually treated her as a normal parent and not just like a rock star.

An hour had passed. Azusa eventually met up with Ashley and talked amongst themselves and with a few of the other parents until Miss. Summer got the rooms attention and readied everyone to explain to the children and the other parents about what their jobs were.

The order was going alphabetical. Azusa was relieved, it gave her some breathing room to get ready. She watched as the other parents explained their careers to the children, and watched as the kids would sit up with interest at the entertaining jobs and act bored at the less entertaining ones. She felt bad that the other children didn't find Ashley's job all that exciting. Both of them knew that a store clerk wasn't a dream job; but still, it helped Ashley keep food on the table.

Azusa sat nervously, tapping her fingertips together and listening as the other parent's talked. Tama sat next to her sitting quietly and watching as the other parents talked and gave demonstrations. Azusa looked over at Ashley who was sitting next to her with her son Shane at his small desk. Ashley could tell she was still nervous. She simply winked at Azusa and smiled. A small comfort.

The room clapped as another one of the parents finished talking and then heard, Miss. Summer say, "Alright, are next guest is Tama's mother, Miss. Azusa Nakano." The other parents and children clapped as she stood. Tama looked up at her mother and said, "Do your best!" And then gave her the devil horns with her fingers. Azusa smiled and did the same. She then slowly walked up to the front of the class room and said calmly. "Hello everyone, "I'm Azusa Nakano, Tama's mother, and my job is the lead guitarist for the band called Shadow."

The room was quiet until Ashley gave a quick confidence booster by calling out, "Woo!" and then clapping for the band. A few of the other parents went a long with it and clapped with her. Azusa waited for it to quiet down and for her blushing cheeks to fade before she continued, "Thank you. My job is a little different then most of the other parents here. Instead of working at just one place, I get to travel to do my work." Trying to keep it simple for the children to understand she continued, "The band goes on what we call a tour. That's where we travel to a lot of different cities and perform our music for a lot of people in different places like sports arenas and outdoor music festivals."

Azusa then went and got her gig bag and unzipped it. She then pulled out her purple Warlock and instantly heard most of the children call out, "Whoa!" in amazement. She then slung its strap over her shoulder and said, "This was one of my first guitars. I've had it for a long time now and I used it to record a lot of the songs on our CD's." She then heard Miss. Summer ask, "Miss. Nakano?" Azusa looked over and nervously asked, "Yes?" Miss. Summer continued, "Would you be able to perform a song for us?"

Azusa paused and looked up at the room of people. She could see the look of confusion of some of their faces, knowing that her style was heavy metal. She then heard Brittney say, "Just keep it appropriate, if that's even possible." Azusa looked back at Miss. Summer and said, "Sure."

She quickly plugged her amp in and then ran a cable from it to her guitar. She then said, "This is a song I wrote when I was almost done with high school. It's a song about following your dreams and doing what you want to do. It's about how if you have a dream, don't let anyone put you down and say not to follow it. It was originally in Japanese but I'll sing it in English for all of you."

Azusa turned on her amps power and quickly strummed out a chord for a quick sound check. Instantly, the children perked up with excitement. Azusa selected the version of the song that didn't contain any guitar or vocals so that she could play and sing along. She then hit the play button on the top of her amp and stood in front of the class ready to play. She said, "This song is called, I'm walking my own road."

She tightly gripped onto her black guitar pick with Shadow's band logo on it and began to strum out an upbeat riff as the song began to play. Instantly the children in the room began to cheer including Tama who was watching her mother play as she showed off a large smile on her tiny face. Azusa then sang the opening verse.

"Who… Do you wanna be?

Huh… I don't know but I'm living my own life

So… I'm gonna push and push because I lose if I pull

Yeah… Walkin' in a flexible style like a cat

Independent and alone are my virtues

Can't anybody hold me down?"

With an upbeat voice, she fluttered out several quick notes on her guitar and began to sing the chorus.

"However soon as I get hugged, I would instantly soften up

The human body is weird

No textbooks or dictionaries ever wrote anything

'bout how to overcome this, so it's hard

Azusa again played the main riff of the song as the children and even the parents began to cheer and clap as she played. Azusa quickly shot a wink at Tama as she again began to sing another verse.

"Whew… I was born 15 years ago, still got a long journey ahead.

Haa… I'm just a small girl, the sky's the limit

But… I don't wanna just look up to people all the time, I hate losing

Yeah… I'm gonna do what there is to do whatever it is I would do

Hard work and guts are my beliefs

I gotta keep moving on"

Again with cheer in her voice, Azusa quickly played a flutter of fast notes on her guitar as she began the second chorus.

"However as soon as I see Taiyaki, I would stop and pause

Snacks are great!

When they tell me to say "a~n" my mouth would automatically open"

With everyone in the class now cheering; even people who were walking the halls, now were crowded around the door watching Azusa play. Azusa hit the bridge of the song and began to play an upbeat line of notes and chords accompanied by heavy bass beat and fluttery piano. With a smile on her face, she looked out towards the room of people and again began to sing.

"I'm clumsy, that's why I'm stubborn

But I also read the atmosphere

If it's gonna make everyone happy

I would even wear cat ears!"

Azusa then hammered out several heavy chords and sang out loud.

"But why?

But why?

As soon as I get hugged, I would instantly soften up

The human body is weird

I just love that warm feeling, like basking in the sun

And I'm weak to the soft human touch"

Smiling at towards her crowd, she played a set of chords and began to sing the last verse of the song.

"Gentle feet, quiet feet, stealthy feet

Hill path, flower path, thorny path

I'm walking my own road

Care to join me?

Senior, junior, classmate

Online friend, RL friend, him and her

Everyone's walking their own road

Outta the way, outta the way!"

Azusa quickly played a line of fast and heavy palm mutes as she sang the last line of words.

"Gentle feet, quiet feet, stealthy feet

Hill path, flower path, thorny path

I'm walking my own road

Care to join me?

Senior, junior, classmate

Online friend, RL friend, him and her

Everyone's walking their own road

Outta the way, outta the way!"

With the final words sang, she quickly strummed out one last chord and ran her fingers up the neck of her guitar making the sound raise higher before she ended the song.

Almost instantly, everyone cheered for her. She felt her adrenaline level slowly decrease; however, she still gripped tightly onto her guitars neck. It had been so long since she had played for a crowd by herself. She had forgotten the feeling of all eyes and cheers being focused on her. She then watched as Tama got up from her seat and rushed up to her mother and gripped onto her waist and hugged her. "You were so cool!" Tama called out as she again gave her mother the devil horns with her tiny fingers. Azusa returned the gesture and then looked back at the room of people.

Ashley, naturally was cheering the loudest, and the rest were clapping and giving a few quick whistles. She then took notice of Brittney. She seemed to show no expression on her face, she only quietly clapped her hands together a few times before stopping and simply waiting for the noise to stop. Azusa didn't care. This was her first step towards being accepted by the other mothers and she wasn't going to let one person ruin it for her.

She finally took her guitar off of her shoulder and again bowed in the traditional Japanese fashion and said, "Thank you very much." And then went back to sit down with Tama as they watched the next parent go up.

He was the father of one of the boy's in Tama's class. He looked at the room and said, "Well, my job is going to seem even more boring after that." Instantly, he and the rest of the people in the room gave a light laugh. As he began to talk and the room had once again settled down, Azusa heard Ashley trying to get her attention. She looked over and saw both Ashley and Shane giving her the thumbs up. Again, blushing deeply, Azusa smiled and simply waved at them.

She sighed quietly to herself and finally after days of worry, allowed herself to relax. "I did it…"

* * *

><p>If you want to hear the song Azusa sang, go to youtube and search "Azusa Nakano Character song" and look for the one titled, "Watashi wa watashi no michi mo yuku"<p> 


	5. REUN NYAN

(CHAPTER 5) REUN-NYAN

It was early Friday morning. Azusa looked at her watch as she, Tama, and the rest of the band headed for the exit of the Pittsburgh International Airport. It was almost 7a.m. by the time they were heading outside into the cool morning air. The band had taken a late night flight in order to meet Mio at the arena. She was going to be spending the day with the band watching everything from the stage being built, sound checks, and the live performance.

Azusa carried Tama in her arms. She was still tired from having to be at the airport so early and she was fast asleep as her mother held her. They had been escorted to a separate private exit of the airport which Azusa was thankful for. It was still early and she wasn't in the mood for autographs.

They were led to a black limo which they all got in. Wraith held a pair of his drumsticks in his hands and lightly tapped them off his knee's. As the limo began to pull out and drive towards downtown Pittsburgh he asked, "So this person that's interviewing us today, you went to school with her, Angel?" Azusa quietly replied so she didn't wake Tama, "Yeah, she was the bass player in our old band." Ghost then asked, "So she play's bass huh? She single?" A few of the other's laughed and Azusa replied, "I think, I don't know if you're her type though." Ghost said back, "But why? We both play bass and I am the best looking out of everyone here." This again made the other members laugh. "Come on Angel, you should put in a good word for me." Azusa smiled and said, "I'll try."

The limo continued to drive towards downtown. The airport was about a 20 minute drive from the city. Specter looked over at Tama who was still sleeping soundly in her mother's arms. "She's out like a light." "Yeah," Azusa said quietly, "She didn't get a lot of sleep last night. We had to be up early to get to the airport. I'll wake her up when we get to the arena. She'll want to see Mio anyway."

The limo passed through a tunnel and emerged onto a bridge showing off a panoramic view of downtown Pittsburgh. "Wow." Azusa said quietly. "I always forget how beautiful this city is." "It's where I grew up." Tyler said back. "There are so many places that I want to take you guys. I wish we had the time." Ghost looked at the city as the morning fog was still hanging thick over it's three rivers. He said back, "Hey, once this tour is over, you need to bring us back here." "Sounds good!" Tyler replied, "We'll all just crash at my moms house." Azusa looked at Tyler and said, "Somehow I don't think your mom would appreciate an entire band crashing her house." Tyler laughed and said back, "She didn't seem to care back when I was in high school."

After fighting through the early morning traffic, the limo pulled up to a large arena that was surrounded by tall sky scrapers. The front showed a large red and black sign which read, "Consol Energy Center", and it's side was dominated by large, panoramic glass windows, and large banners of the city's hockey team, the Pittsburgh Penguins.

They pulled around to the rear of the arena near where all of the bands equipment trucks were parked and unloading. Azusa watched as sound equipment and pieces of the stage were unloaded and wheeled inside. The limo drove up to a large retractable door and it immediately opened. Once inside, the driver parked and got out to open the door for the band.

They all got exited the limo and Tyler helped Azusa out as she held onto Tama. Tama's shoulder length, raven black hair was frizzed from sleeping on it and her two bob tails needed retied. Having to leave from the airport so early, Azusa didn't bother Tama to much for getting ready. She could fix her hair later.

The sound of machinery moving large racks of stage equipment echoed through the loading bay of the arena. Azusa felt Tama move in her arms and watched as her bright blue eyes fluttered open and she looked around. "Morning sunshine!" Phantom said cheerfully at Tama. Tama's eyes squinted and she simply buried her face back into her mother's shoulder. Azusa laughed and said, "And the sun's back down!" Phantom laughed to himself and said, "What's the matter with you Angel? Not lettin' Tama get a full nights sleep." Azusa raised an eyebrow and said back, "Hey! Angel didn't get a full night of sleep either."

While the band member's joked around, a member of the arena staff approached the group. He then said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt but Azusa Nakano, a member of the press is here to see you," He looked at his clip board and continued, "someone from the Japanese magazine, Midnight Metal." Azusa felt excitement fill her. She said back, "Alright, I'll be right there." She then said to Tama who was still trying to sleep, "Hey, Mio's here! Are you ready to go see her?" She heard Tama groan as she buried her face into Azusa's shoulder. "Sleepy…" She uttered out. "You don't want to go see Mio?" Azusa asked again. Tama simply groaned shook her head. Azusa sighed and said, "Well alright. You won't be able to see her for a while then." Tama didn't reply, she just wanted to sleep.

Azusa looked at Phantom and said, "Will you take her back to our dressing room with you guys? She want's to sleep. I'll be down as soon as I can." Phantom smiled and held his arm's out, "Sure, I'll watch our number one fan for a bit." Azusa carefully handed Tama to Phantom while trying not to wake her. "If she get's fussy I packed some snacks for her in my bag. It should hopefully be in our dressing room by now. I shouldn't be to long so if anything happens just call me, okay." "Relax Angel." Phantom said, "We've watched Tama plenty of times. She's never given us any trouble." Azusa sighed and said, "I'm sorry, I just worry." "You're such a mom." Banshee called back. Tyler then cut in and said, "Yeah mom, go see your friend, everything will be fine down here." Azusa sighed and then walked over towards the courtesy cart that the arena staff had brought down to take her to Mio.

As she hopped on Azusa again called out, "I'm serious though! If she get's fussy or needs me, just call me!" "Banshee then called out jokingly to the courtesy cart driver, "Security! Get her out of here!" Ghost then added, "We won't let Tama party too hard while you're gone." The other's then laughed and watched as Azusa got a frustrated look on her face as she was driven towards the main halls of the arena.

* * *

><p>After a short drive, she ended up near a VIP section of the arena. It was a large area that held a large bar and restaurant. Obviously for people who had paid a lot of money for VIP boxes at hockey games. She stepped off of the courtesy cart and thanked the driver. She then walked into the VIP lounge and looked around.<p>

No one was inside except for 2 staff members. She again looked around and then saw Mio sitting in a booth with a drink in front of her. Azusa smiled and called out, "Mio!" as she rushed inside. Mio instantly turned and stood up as she saw Azusa rushing towards her. "Azusa!" She called back as the two girls ran to each other and embraced.

In Japanese, Mio said as she held back her tears, "I've missed you so much! I can't believe I'm finally seeing you again." Azusa too felt her own tears streaming down her cheeks. "I know. I wish I never had to leave you all in the first place." Mio sighed and said back calmly, "Leaving us wasn't all bad for you. Look where it got you, you did what you wanted, you made your music into a career, and it got you away form… him." Azusa paused. She then replied, "Friends and family will always come before the band, and as for him…, he's the only reason why I had to leave you all in the first place. Who knows what he would have done if I had stayed. I don't care what he does to me, I care about keeping Tama safe from him. I still have the scar to prove that."

Mio nodded and said, "And you did the right thing. He can't get you now. You're surrounded by people who care about you and who won't let anyone hurt you or Tama like that ever again." Azusa sighed and pulled out of the hug. She looked at Mio and said, "I still worry." Mio smiled and said, "You don't need to anymore. I'm sure if anyone tried to so much as lay a finger on you without your say so, you would have the entire band as well as the entire crew of Shadow there to back you up." "…Yeah." Azusa uttered.

Mio smiled and then said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up the past. I came to see one of my best friends again and to hear about her music." Azusa shook her head and smiled. "It's alright, I just think about it to much sometimes." Mio then led Azusa over to the booth that she was sitting at and the two sat back down. One of the waiter's came over and brought Azusa a glass of water. She thanked the waiter and then the two continued talking.

Mio took a sip of her water and said, "So where's Tama?" Azusa smiled and said, "She didn't get a lot of sleep last night because we had a really early flight. She was cranky so the guys took her back to our dressing room so she could sleep. You'll be able to see her in a bit." "Aww." Mio said. "Is she still as cute as I remember her?" Azusa pulled out her cell phone and showed it to Mio. Her phone's wallpaper was a picture of Azusa and Tama sitting on the front of Shadow's stage." Mio smiled and said, "Yep, still as cute as ever."

Azusa took a sip of her water and said, "I'm waiting for the day when Yui see's her again. All hell will break loose." Mio shrugged and said, "You might be surprised. Yui has calmed down a little bit over the years. I think now that she actually has responsibility with a job she learned not to be as care free." Azusa laughed and said, "I'll believe it when I see it."

The girls continued to talk for about a half hour. During that time, Mio took down a few notes to get started on her magazine article. She then pulled out one of the custom printed band pamphlets that would be handed out to the crowd as they came in for the show. Mio looked at it and said, "I can't believe how popular your guys are already. You already have 3 albums out and you're going to be starting the 4th after this tour." Azusa nodded and replied as she set her water down, "Yeah, these next few months are going to be hectic. I have to balance touring, recording, and being a single mom while keeping up my house. It's not easy I can tell you that." "I can imagine." Mio said back. "I have enough trouble with just my one job."

Mio put her notes down and continued, "Still though, this tour is going well for you guys. I'm glad that everything working out for the band. That and from what I've seen of Shadow from watching you guys online, your live show's are something that has to be seen to be believed." Azusa shrugged and smiled, "That's all in the opinion of the crowd. I pay more attention to the music, the stage show is the extra sizzle. However, I will say that even I'm impressed by our new stage and the new effect's that we've been using on this tour."

Mio's eye's widened and she said. "I honestly haven't seen your new stage for this tour. Or the new effects for that matter." Azusa grinned and said, "Would you like to?" "A VIP grand tour of Shadow's stage with the lead guitarist?" Mio said happily, "Why of course."

* * *

><p>Azusa led Mio onto the main floor of the arena. Inside the crew was already hard at work building the stage for the show. Mio's eye's widened at the sight. "It's definitely bigger than what we played on." Azusa laughed, "Yeah, a lot louder and with a lot more fire too." The two girls walked past the stage crew and up to the stage. For the most part, the stage itself was fully assembled. All that remained was the large amount of stage lighting that was being set up along with the racks of large speakers. To Mio, the stage was one of the most impressive looking stages she had seen in her career. Most of the bands she went to see for her magazine had simple stages that weren't nearly as elaborate as this.<p>

The stage itself resembled the interior of a factory. The large metal stage was made with steel plates that were lined with rivets. The main floor of the stage was constructed of a grated metal that allowed large stage lights and fire effects to come up through the stage floor, and had two elevated areas on both the left and right side for Azusa and Phantom to stand during certain songs, as well as held the crew area's for the pyro, and sound system controls. The rear of the stage was an elevated section that was raised about three and a half feet above the front of the stage with the rivet covered steel plates and also had a grated metal floor for even more fire and light effects; it was also the area where Ghost stood when he played his bass, as well as where Wraith and Banshee had their drum kit and keyboards set up.

Behind the stage stood 4 large light towers that gave off several effects during the show, ranging from pulsing strobe lights, smoke effects, and even explosions for the very end of the concert. One of the stages more unique features was a large metal ramp at the center of the stage that could be both raised and lowered for Specter to make different entrances.

The girls approached the stage and Mio said as she took a few pictures with her camera, "It's so much bigger in person. It's very impressive looking." Azusa led Mio to the front of the stage and replied, "It's not even fully built yet. They still have to get all the lights and speakers up and put up the backdrop." Mio looked up at the large stage. "Is it alright to go on it?" She asked. "Of course." Azusa replied, "Follow me."

The two girls went around the side of the stage and underneath it. Underneath was just as impressive. Large stage lights were set up to reflect on the band from below, as well as having a large array of flame throwers and mounted pyro charges. Azusa walked up to one of the crew areas behind the stage. She pushed a red button and the ramp at the center stage lowered. "Up here." Azusa said as she led Mio up. "That's so cool." Mio commented. Azusa replied as she walked up onto the stage, "Yeah, it's mainly for Specter. The rest of us only use it at the very end of the show when we're leaving the stage."

Mio walked up the metal ramp and immerged on the large stage that offered an impressive panoramic view of the entire arena. It made her eyes widen. When she went to interview bands, she was never offered the opportunity to go on their stage. She was either at the front of the stage taking pictures or meeting with the bands in their dressing rooms. It brought back memories from when both her and Azusa were in high school. With the crew members busy assembling the stage around them, Mio calmly asked, "Don't you wonder what it would have been like if our band had been able to play on a stage like this?" Azusa looked at Mio. She didn't really have an answer for her. Having played for large crowds for the past few years had completely shaken the memories of playing on the school's small auditorium stage. All she could ay back was, "I don't think I could have done it back then. I mean I still get nervous at the really big shows like the one tonight." "I think that's normal for anyone." Mio said back.

Mio looked around the stage. She noticed all of the tape markers laid out at different points along the stage and saw the bundles of wire laying around waiting to be set up. She then asked, "Are these position markers?" Azusa looked down at the neon colored tape and said back, "Those? Kinda. Their called hot lines. It lets us know where the flame throwers are under the stage so we know where not to stand during certain songs." Azusa then walked to the front of the stage. She knelt down at the front of the stage and pointed out the grated metal. "See how all the metal here is charred, that's the main area where we don't stand, for obvious reasons." Mio then asked, "I'm guessing you have a lot of crazy effects then?" Azusa stood back up and grinned. "Do you wanna see one?" Mio looked at her and asked, "A stage effect?" Azusa nodded, "Yeah. It's one the crowd really loves." Mio paused and then said with a shrug, "Sure, why not."

"Alright, hang on one second." Azusa said as she walked over to one of the stage crew workers and asked him a question. Mio couldn't hear it over the sound of power tools and other crew members talking and heavy equipment moving. She watched as Azusa smiled and laughed with the crewman. With a smile, the crewmen went under the stage and Azusa went back over to Mio. "Okay," Azusa said, "I think you're going to like this." "What is it?" Mio asked. With a smile, Azusa said back, "It's some flash powder." In the background, the crewmen Azusa had just talked to began to call out, "Flash powder test!" Mio tilted her head in curiosity. She calmly asked, "What's flash powder?" With a smile, Azusa said back, "This!" Instantly, an ear deafening boom rocked through the arena as a bright flash and a large cloud of smoke exploded through the grated metal at the very front of the stage.

Mio instantly covered her head in surprise and ducked down. In the background, the other stage crew members began to cheer from the explosion and Azusa continued to stand as though nothing had happened. She looked at Mio and said, "And there yah go! Flash powder!" Mio stood back upright and looked at Azusa as though she were crazy. "That was so loud…" Mio said as her ears rang." "I know!" Azusa chirped, "Isn't it great?"

"How aren't you deaf?" Mio asked as she lowered her hands form her ears. Azusa laughed and said, "I don't really notice it when I'm performing. It's all the adrenaline I suppose." Mio looked around the stage as the crew continued their work. She then said, "Just warn me if something loud is coming next time."

A few minutes later, the rest of Shadow came out to see how the stage construction was coming. Azusa heard Tyler call out, "We heard a boom and figured you were the cause of it, Angel." Azusa looked at her band members and said back, "I was, don't worry!" Mio walked over to Azusa and saw the rest of Shadow coming out. Her job wouldn't let her get excited about it but inside she wanted nothing more then to rush over and meet the people who helped her friend through a very difficult time.

The girls could also see Tama come out with the rest of the band as she was being carried in Phantom's arms. "Mommy!" She called out happily! Phantom set her down and watched as her tiny legs sprinted off for the stage. "She's in a good mood now that she had a nap." Phantom called out. Wraith then said, "I told you she would be fine with us." Azusa smiled and called back, "Thank you guys!"

Mio then walked over to the edge of the stage and saw Tama as she quickly ran up a set of stairs that the crew used to quickly get on and off the stage during the show. Mio said to Azusa, "I can't believe how much she's grown." "I know." Azusa said back, "She grew up so fast. She'll be starting first grade soon."

Tama reached the stage and ran over to her mother and hugged her. Azusa picked her up into her arms and said, "Hey! About time you woke up, Mio's been waiting for you." Mio then walked up to Azusa and Tama and said in Japanese, "I haven't seen you since you were little. You've grown up into a lovely young lady." Tama blushed and bashfully hid her face in her mother shoulder. Both girls giggled. Azusa set Tama down and said, "Go say hi, Mio's been waiting to see you." Mio then commented, "She look's just like you Azusa." Tama looked up at Mio. She knew she had seen her before but from being so little she couldn't remember that time. Still, that didn't stop her from being friendly.

Mio knelt down in front of her and continued, "It's so good to be able to see you again." Tama smiled and replied shyly, "I'm glad you came all this way to visit. Mommy's been looking forward to it so much, and she's been practicing non stop to make sure she does great at the concert tonight for you." Mio nodded and said back, "I can't wait to see it. If she's as good as she was when we were in school together, she should be amazing."

Tama's eye's widened as she remembered what happened the night before. She then chirped. "Mommy was amazing when she played a song for my class at parent's night! She even sang for everyone!" Mio looked up at Azusa and said, "Did you really?" Azusa blushed and said timidly, "Well, it was for parent's night, we had to give job demonstrations, and well…" Azusa motioned at the stage and continued, "I can't exactly bring a class of kindergartener's to a show so I did one of the songs from when I was a senior." "Which one?" Mio asked. Azusa replied, "I'm walking my own road."

"I haven't heard that song in years!" Mio said and continued, "I actually haven't heard a lot of our old stuff for a really long time." Azusa nodded and said, "I thought it was appropriate. People in Tama's school aren't exactly thrilled about the music I play. A lot of people that try to crush your dreams these days. It was my way of saying screw you." Both Mio and Azusa laughed at the comment as the rest of Shadow came on the stage.

"Is this your friend, Angel?" Azusa nodded and said, "Yeah, this is Mio." Mio stood up and bowed and said, "Hello, and thank you all for letting me spend time with you." Mio spoke in the best English she could manage, though she still talked with a heavy Japanese accent. She knew English because of her job; however, she wasn't the best at speaking it. Tyler nodded and said, "Hey! Thanks for flying all the way out here to come see us."

Azusa then said, "Mio, this is Tyler, our lead singer, Alex, our rhythm guitarist, Luke on bass." Luke shot a wink at Mio. "Nick on keyboard, and Kurt on drums." "I hope I can remember all of your names. I usually remember stage name's over real names." "Hey that's fine." Tyler called out, "We usually use stage names anyway."

Tyler then looked around and said, "Alright, we need to go over a few things before show time tonight. We have a few new stage effects and a completely redone version of My Little Angel." Tyler then walked to the edge of the stage and called out to the crew, "Is the coffin ready?" One of the crew member's called back, "Yeah boss, it's already up behind the rear of the stage." Tyler nodded and said, "Can you have someone bring it around when I call for it please?" The crew member called back, "Sure thing, I'll send someone up."

Tyler then said, "I know we all went over the performance for the song on the plane last night but we need to run through this for real now." He looked around and said, "Take your places real quick." The band members nodded and headed for their own area's of the stage. Mio walked with Azusa, and Tama asked, "Is it alright if I'm up here while you're doing this?" "Sure!" Azusa replied, "It's no problem. We're not going to play anything, this is just a run through."

While they took their places, Tyler went behind the stage and quickly came back with a pair of white feathered wings. He quickly ran them over to Azusa and said, "Angel's angel wings." and then headed back to center stage. Azusa quickly slipped the wings on and Mio said, "Their so pretty." Azusa nodded and said, "Yeah, pull a feather out." Mio was confused and asked, "Pull one out?" "Yeah," Azusa nodded and continued, "They get pulled out during one of the songs. Go ahead and pull one." Mio hesitated and then gripped onto one of the feathers. She then pulled it and watched as it popped out. She then took notice that along with the feather coming out of the wings, fake blood also splattered out.

Mio left like her soul had left her body. She still hated blood and her face instantly went pale as she screamed out in fear. Azusa quickly turned and realized what had happened. "The band member's instantly looked over and Tyler called out, "What's wrong? What happened?" Azusa paused and then blushed timidly as she placed a hand on Mio's back. "I may have forgotten something!" She said. "I completely forgot that Mio doesn't like blood." Azusa then turned to face Mio who was standing and trembling. "I can't believe I forgot about your fear of blood and scary things. It has been a while, huh?" Mio only mumbled out, "…It's blood. …There's blood on my hand."

"It's okay." Azusa said reassuringly, "It's fake, it's all part of the show." Mio looked down at the wings and tried to regain her composure. She then pulled out a handkerchief out of her pocket and said, "That's the second time you scared me today. I'm getting you back for this at some point." Azusa let out a timid laugh and said, "I probably have it coming." From across the stage, Tyler called out, "Are you two alright over there?" "We're good, keep going!" Azusa said back.

Tama sat on the edge of the elevated section of stage, in front of where Banshee's keyboard would be set up and watched as Tyler began to run through the song. Tyler said, "Alright, Banshee starts us off with the intro on keyboard and we have some opening pop's of pyro charges in front of the drums like usual. Then run through the song as you normally would until after the second chorus."

Tyler then called out, "Wheel out the coffin please!" The band watched as the large coffin was wheeled out and placed in it's spot on the stage. Tyler continued, "Now, while the main riff is playing, I come over to you Angel and I take your guitar from you." Tyler then walked over to Azusa and motioned as if he were taking her guitar. He then said, "I'll toss it to Chris, he'll catch it and then we move on." Azusa said in a low tone, "You know if you break one of my guitar's I'm drop kicking you."

"And that's why I'm having your guitar tech catch it." Tyler said with a smile. He then approached Azusa and said, "Now I tear your wings apart while Phantom keeps hammering out the main riff on his guitar." Tyler then took a handful of feather's from Azusa's wing's and pulled. Fake blood splattered all over Tyler and the area around him from the fake wings. "Did it splatter good?" Azusa called out. She looked back and saw the fake blood all over Tyler's face and said, "I take that as a yes." She laughed and then looked at Mio who had a dead stare in her eyes. "It's fake!" Azusa said reassuringly.

Tyler ripped out two handfuls of feathers and said, "Alright, next I do the fake hits, so…" He then did a few slow motion punches towards Azusa. She nodded and said, "Now I fall backwards right?" Tyler nodded and Azusa let herself fall back. Tyler then caught her and threw her over his shoulder and began to walk towards the coffin. He then said, "You just stay limp like you're knocked out." "Alright, easy enough." Azusa said.

Tyler then went behind the coffin and laid Azusa down inside. He continued, "Now I hit the inside to act like I get a few last hits on you…" Tyler banged his fist against the inside walls of the coffin, and continued, "Now you do your thing inside." Azusa nodded and said, "Okay, safety screen closed above me…" She quickly pulled a metal wire mesh screen closed above her that would keep the sparks out, and then said, "Now I get out of my first stage costume while you're being raised above me, right?" Tyler nodded and replied, "Yeah, while I'm singing, you finish your costume change then I'll pour the sparks over you, and by the way, you may wanna hold your ears in there."

Azusa called out, "Alright. Then I get out after you come back down and look in the coffin?" "Yeah." Tyler called back. Azusa continued, "And that's when the safety screen comes off too right?" "You got it Angel. Then you get out and limp to center stage in your bright and shiny new outfit and get your guitar that comes out from below the stage."

Azusa retracted the safety screen and got out of the coffin. Tyler helped her out and said, "And remember to be careful where you step once you get out. This thing is going to be surrounded by fire so the stage is going to be hot around it." Azusa nodded. "I got it." "Good." Tyler said.

He then looked at the rest of the band and called out, "Are you all good?" They all agreed and Tyler continued, "Are we all ready for tonight?" "Yeah!" They all called out together, including Tama who had her hands in the rocker horns. Tyler smiled and said, "Then let's show Pittsburgh how Shadow does it for their home town!"

* * *

><p>Live chapter is next! Should be up in a week. Also, if you want to see what Shadow's stage look's like, Google image search "Rammstein Madison Square Garden" and click on any of the pictures where you see the band on stage. That is the stage and band I based Shadow off of.<p> 


	6. MY LITTLE ANGEL

Alright! My first attempt and writing out a live concert! And a very special thanks to Atrolus for helping me with the lyric rewrites. You rock man!

If you want to hear the actual songs that are being played in this, I'll have links at the bottom.

(CHAPTER 6) MY LITTLE ANGEL

Azusa and the rest of Shadow sat in their dressing room as they waited for Red Star to finish their opening concert. It gave the band some breathing room while the first act would get the crowd warmed up. Azusa sat with Tama sitting next to her on one of the leather couches while they waited. The rest of the band was finishing their preparation for their show; some were finishing their make up and others were simply chatting.

Azusa was sitting in her white, and silver outfit that was covered in the colorful, light reflective sequins. She would be wearing it under another set of clothes until they performed the song My Little Angel which wasn't until about halfway through the show. She quickly pulled out a small mirror and looked at her stage makeup. Her black lipstick was on perfectly accompanied by her black and silver eye shadow. She then put the small mirror aside and stood. Tama looked up at her mother as Azusa said, "Mommy's just going to fix her makeup." Tama simply nodded and replied, "Okay." As she went back to listening to her iPod.

Back at the dressing table, Azusa pulled out a small makeup bag and looked for a little plastic container which she quickly found and opened. Inside was silver body glitter. She put a bit of the silver flake into her hand and then sprinkled it over her delicate face. She quickly washed the excess from her hands in a small sink and looked at herself in the mirror. The glitter added that extra hint of beauty as well as added an extra shimmer when the stage lighting would shine on her.

Phantom walked over to his equipment case and pulled out his neatly folded stage outfit. It was a black and silver trench coat lined with leather belts and chrome buckles. He quickly slipped it on over his well muscled shoulders and said, "Well, Red Star is almost done, ready to head out?" "…Yeah." Tyler said back as he finished his own stage makeup. "Might as well."

Azusa nodded and quickly pulled out her own stage outfit. It was a long, black, military style trench coat that was covered with military insignias on the shoulders and sleeves, including a large Shadow band emblem on the upper left chest and on a white arm band which was wrapped around the upper left arm. Her final outfit piece was a military officers hat which she quickly put on and said, "Alright. Ready Tama?" With a quick nod of her head, Tama hopped off of the couch and quickly took her mothers hand as the band headed out of the dressing room and out into the halls of the arena while being led by security guards.

As they headed for the stage, the band talked amongst themselves as they walked past arena crew members and pictures on the wall of other bands and performers that had played at the arena. Most of the halls; however, were dominated by the Pittsburgh Penguins hockey logo's and large pictures of the team members.

As they walked, all that could be heard aside from the other band members talking, was the sound of a cheering crowed as Red Star finished up their last few songs. "Sounds like a good crowed tonight!" Ghost called out. Wraith nodded and said back, "Pittsburgh's always been good to us."

Tama then called out, "Where is Mio going to be watching from?" Azusa looked down at Tama and said back, "She's going to be near the front of the stage with the other people from the news papers and TV shows. You can see her again after the concert." Tama simply nodded and said, "I hope she likes it." Azusa smiled and replied, "She'll love it. I just hope the explosions and fake blood don't scare her like they did earlier."

* * *

><p>Azusa and the other's were led out of a large double door that took them behind their stage out in the main area of the arena. Red Star was playing through their last song as the crowed cheered like crazy. They could hear the lead singer of Red Star call out at the very end of his song, "We are Red Star! Bringing down the house here at Pittsburgh!" The crowed openly cheered as the final guitar riffs were hammered out under the blood red stage lighting as their singer continued. "Looks like you guys are all psyched up now for Shadow!" The simple word shadow sent an ear deafening cheer throughout the crowd.<p>

Tyler looked back at Ghost and said, "I don't know. I don't think their excited by us." The comment instantly made Ghost laugh. From the stage, Red Star's singer took a bow with the rest of his band and said, "Thank you so much Pittsburgh!" and then walked off stage with the rest of the band.

Red Star's members walked down a set of stairs that led to the stage as the arena lights came back on while the stage crew quickly took down the bands stage equipment and readied the stage for Shadow. Their lead singer who was dressed in all red, everything from hair, clothes, and stage makeup, looked at the members of Shadow and said, "Yeah, this crowd has some energy." Tyler nodded and said back, "Good to hear. You guys rocked by the way."

With Red Star now finished, Azusa led Tama behind the stage, while Tyler talked to Red Star's singer, to the opposite end where all of her guitars and equipment rigs were. Azusa's guitar tech was hard at work making sure that all of her sound equipment was working properly and all of her guitars were in tune. Her guitar tech was named Chris. He was short and thin, and in his mid 20's with short cropped brown hair, and a goatee. He was an expert on anything that had to do with guitars and sound equipment. He was also always in a good mood and rarely was ever upset about anything.

"Chris." Azusa said. He quickly turned and said, "There's my Angel!" Azusa walked into the area underneath the stage where her sound rig was located with Tama close behind. She then said, "I have good news." "What's that?" He asked. Azusa looked down at Tama and said, "You have a new assistant. I promised Tama that she could help out more with the crew. She'll be helping me switch out guitars between songs. Is that alright with you?" "Sure!" Chris replied with his usual smile. That's less for me to do and will give me more time to keep your rig running and your guitars tuned up."

"Thank you so much Chris! You're the best." "I know." He instantly said back with a smile. Tama then walked up to Chris and said in her cheerful voice, "I can't wait to help out!" Chris motioned her over to the large wheeled cases that were packed with different pieces of sound equipment, distortion pedals and amp heads. He looked at Tama and said, "Well, while your mom gets ready to go on stage, do you want to help me finish getting her rig set up for the show tonight?" "Really? I can help?" Tama chirped. "Sure. It's never to early to learn." Tama instantly ran over to Chris and stood next to him, watching as he tweaked the systems on Azusa's guitar rig. Before she left, Azusa asked, "Hey Chris, you know about the changes to the songs right?" Chris nodded, "Way ahead of yah! We had a crew meeting this morning." Azusa nodded and continued, "Great. And please, don't drop my guitar when Specter tosses it at you." "I wouldn't dare." He said back.

* * *

><p>About 20 minutes had passed since Red Star had finished their show. The stage crew was finishing setting up the stage for Shadow and getting ready for the bands intro. Azusa quickly went over to Tama and said, "See you after the show sweet heart." Tama smiled and replied, "Knock em' dead, mommy!" She then gave the rocker horns with her tiny fingers which Azusa returned. "Alright, be good for Chris." "I will."<p>

Azusa then headed out from under the stage and noticed Mio sitting with other members of the media near the front of the stage. Azusa headed over towards the barrier that kept the crowed away from the stage. She called out, "Mio!" Mio looked up and saw Azusa in her stage outfit and said, "Azusa! Look at you!" Mio had never seen Azusa in her stage outfit and black makeup in person, only through other pictures and online video's of their performances and music videos. It was something that she had to see in person to believe. She knew Azusa as the innocent little girl from back in the Light Music Club. She wasn't saying that she didn't like the look, it was just so different than how she knew her.

"I really did have to see it to believe it. I never imagined that this would be your look someday." Mio commented. Azusa smiled and replied, "Wait till you see me halfway through the show! I think you'll like it." "What is it?" Mio asked. "Cat ears?" Azusa felt a twitch run through her at the memory of her cat ears that she was forced to wear. She forced a grin and replied sharply, "No!" Azusa then pulled up the black sleeve of her trench coat and showed off a small bit of sequin covered fabric from the detached sleeve of her second outfit. Mio saw the shine of the fabric and said with excitement, "Is the whole outfit like that?" Azusa winked and said back, "It's a surprise."

From up in the crowed, the two could hear someone call out, "Oh my god! Angel!" And instantly cheers and camera flashes began to shine around them. Azusa looked up at the crowed and gave a quick wave. She then looked at Mio and said, "We're going on in a few minutes, I need to get ready. Enjoy the show, okay." Mio nodded and replied, "I can't wait to see it. Everyone raves about your live shows and says how incredible they are. I can't believe I'm getting to see it in person." "We won't disappoint you, especially with all of our new stuff for tonight." Mio nodded and said, "Alright, I'll look forward to it."

As Azusa walked away, Mio looked up at the stage. Red Star had only preformed on the main stage floor. The rest of the stage was covered by a large black curtain so the crowd wouldn't be able to see Shadow's entire stage before the show started. She watched as the stage crew rushed to get everything finished before the show started, everything from making sure all of Red Star's equipment was off the stage, down to last minute light and stage effect checks.

Mio could also see the area where Azusa would be standing during her performance. She could see the back of a large switcher box which allowed Azusa to switch off her guitar sounds to different effects during the show as well as a microphone that looked like it could be raised and lowered from below the stage for when she had back up vocals. Now that it had come down to show time, Mio couldn't help but feel overly excited.

* * *

><p>Azusa went back behind the stage and found Tama sitting with Chris. Azusa said, "Ready Tama?" Tama nodded and followed Azusa up the stairs towards the back of the stage where her guitars were kept. Instantly, Tama pulled out her mothers guitar for the first song and happily called out. "Drop C tuning for Field of Shadow." Azusa smiled and said, "Thank you."<p>

She could see the rest of the band members getting ready to take their places on the stage. She quickly gave Tama a kiss and then watched as Tyler motioned for the crew to start the show. Azusa and the other's quickly went to their places on the stage behind the large black curtain and then she stood in front of her breakaway wall that she would enter the show through. The arena lights darkened and the crowed cheered loudly.

The darkness of the arena quickly became pinpricked with small sources of light as people in the crowd pulled out digital cameras, and camera phones as they recorded the beginning of the concert. Behind the stage, Banshee was led to his keyboards by a stage hand holding a flash light. He quickly took his place and made sure that all of his equipment was functioning properly before he called out, "You guys ready?" Specter called back, "We're good, hit it!"

Banshee nodded and then pressed down several keys on his keyboard and began to play the intro. The crowed instantly erupted into a loud cheer as the haunting sound that Banshee was known for filled the arena. The ghostly tone of a dead wind that sounded as though it were blowing through a dark abandoned tunnel resonated throughout the arena as the crowed continued to cheer. Gradually, a group of fans began to chant the bands name and within seconds the whole crowd of over 30,000 people began to cheer and chant, "Shadow! Shadow! Shadow!".

From the top of the stage, two white lights shone down on both Azusa and Phantom and the two then began demolishing their breakaway walls with their guitars. The crowed cheered louder as the walls broke into pieces and the two guitarists became silhouetted by white light and fog as they broke through. With the walls broken away, the two guitarists stepped through and stood motionless on the upper part of the stage as cameras flashed and people cheered. Next, a small bright red flame began to circle its way around a black wall at the center of the stage with a sound of electricity added to make it seem as though Specter were cutting his way through with a torch.

In the background, Banshee began to play the sounds of a haunting choir that raised its tone as the flame completed it's circle neared the end of it's path. Seconds after the small flame went out, Specter kicked the cut section of the wall down and the crowed cheered loudly. Silhouetted by light, he slowly stepped through the hole and held his arms up and encouraged the crowed to cheer louder which they immediately did. Specter then slowly walked down the metal ramp with his arms held out at his sides. He walked towards his microphone stand and slowly lowered his arms as he neared it. As his arms lowered the lights from the stage darkened and the sound from Banshee's keyboard lowered its tone and slowly died leaving the arena once again in total darkness.

Wraith then hit a heavy beat from one of his two bass drums and the keyboard to the first song began to play as Specter began to sing the first songs intro.

"Walking alone in the night

On your path devoid of light

Hear the whisper in the air

Continue on if you dare."

He sang with his haunting voice and with the added effect of a white light coming from within his mouth. It was one of his new features, a simple LED light that was rigged to fit inside his cheek. With the songs intro verse complete, The stage lights suddenly flashed back on revealing that the black stage curtain had been removed leaving the entire stage as well as the rest of the band visible as the entire band began to play. Both Azusa and Phantom hammered out slow but heavy chords and sang,

"Sha-dow!"

The double bass drum beat played heavily along with the guitars and the crowed singing along.

"Sha-dow!"

Azusa and Phantom both quickly ran their fingers up the necks of their guitars raising the pitch of the note. A deafeningly loud detonation of pyro charges popped from the top of the front of the stage sending a thunderous bang through the arena.

The crowd cheered as the song began with heavy guitar riffs and flashing stage lighting. In the crowd, Mio watched with wide eyes at the spectacle. Seeing Shadow perform live had a much more powerful impact on her then seeing them in video clips. The power that seemed to flow from them was amazing. Every beat that was pounded out of Wraiths double drum kit impacted on her body like a small concussive burst and the power of the guitars and bass filled her with the sudden urge to cheer.

She watched Shadow perform the first song and focused on Azusa as she held her stage appearance. Her delicate face shimmered from the silver glitter and she showed no smile on her face but even Mio could tell that behind her stage persona that she was having the time of her life.

As the first song neared the end, the crowed was already fully energized. Accompanying Specter with the lyrics, both Azusa and Phantom stood in front of their mic's singing "Sha-dow!" when the back up lyrics came. As the song ended, the two hammered out the final notes on their guitars and just for effect and a different sound, Azusa played a few final notes near the bottom of the neck to give a higher pitched tone to go with the ending.

With the last notes played and the song over, the arena erupted into a loud cheer. Even Mio found herself cheering and screaming along with the crowd. Azusa took notice of Mio from onstage. She could see her cheering and clapping. Azusa smiled and shot a wink at Mio as she headed off to the side of the stage to swap guitars with Tama and then headed back out onstage to start the second song which Ghost was already starting as he hammered out a heavy and scratchy beat on his bass guitar.

* * *

><p>It was about an hour into the show and they had reached the halfway point. The crowd had been cheering nonstop in that time, including Mio who had been watching Azusa perform with locked eyes and countless pictures she had taken for her magazine company. With another song ended, both Azusa and Phantom quickly went backstage to again swap out guitars for different tunings.<p>

Azusa quickly grabbed her Drop D tuned guitar from Tama. Tama smiled and gave her the horn gesture with her hand which Azusa quickly returned. She then quickly put on the pair of white feathered wings for the upcoming song and headed back towards the stage as Banshee began to play the songs opening on the keyboard. The stage lighting was dim, only illuminating Banshee and Wraith as he crashed the cymbals on his drum kit.

Two large stage lights shone down from above on both Azusa and Phantom as the two guitarists took their place on stage. They waited for the beat and then both Azusa and Phantom hammered out 5 hard, open chords on their guitars accompanied by the same drum beat from Wraith. With each beat, pyro charges erupted from the front of Wraiths drum kit. They repeated this several times until Wraith hammered out a heavy snare drum beat with matching pyro charges as the song opened with a hard and heavy guitar riff.

The stage lighting flashed and the crowd went wild as the opening was played. Azusa watched the fists of the crowd pump towards them with the beat as people moshed and crowd surfed. Azusa walked over to Phantom and the two stood and faced each other. With smiles on their faces they both hammered out the opening riff of the song and head banged. As the opening riff neared it's end, the two went back to their own sides of the stage and quickly switched their distortion off to a clean, undistorted sound as Specter walked up the center ramp onto the stage and sang the opening verses.

"Lost by god, found by man

Kneel down for me, that's my demand

Angel's save her if you can

So she may have her peace again"

Heavy bass beat from Ghost shook the arena as he played along with Specter. Azusa watched the crowed as they all cheered and sang along, including Mio who she could see cheering and clapping with them.

"Caress my fingers through your feathered wings

I touch your skin, feel the pleasure it brings

Soft as silk so pure and fine

Cry out once more and you'll be mine"

Both Azusa and Phantom switched back over to their heavy distortion and began to hammer out the chords of the songs first chorus. Azusa then began to quickly walk in a circle in her area of the stage as she played the chorus with the stage lights flashing blue and white around her as Tyler openly began to sing.

"My little angel

I'll tear off your wings

It does you good

Listen to her scream!"

Azusa then stood in a rocker style position and hammered out the bridge of the song by accompanying stage lighting and roaring cheers from the crowd. She then switched back over to her guitars clean, undistorted sound along with Phantom as they played along to Specter's lyrics.

"Don't be bound I'll set you free

Look up at me from on your knees

What hurts you now will bring me joy

It's time to play my little toy"

The stage lighting was again dim with only the large spot lights shining down on the band members with other lights shining over the stage and above the crowd. Azusa stood with her body still as stone as she played the bridge of the song. She constantly looked out and over the crowd, watching the fans cheering for them and singing along.

"You fell from grace into my cage

Oh please sweet angel show me your rage

Now you're mine let me hear you yell

You've seen haven let me show you hell"

Azusa quickly went from her still position back into her rocker stance as she switched back to her heavy distortion and hammered out the chords to the chorus.

"My little angel

I'll tear off your wings

It does you good

Listen to her scream!"

She stood hammering her pick off of the strings of her guitar and head banging heavily to the beat as she always did as she listened to Specter continue to sing in his hauntingly beautiful voice.

"My little angel

I'll tear off your wings

It does you good

Listen to her scream!"

Azusa took in a deep breath. This was the big moment in the song that the whole band had been practicing for. For the first time this new and exciting element was going to be added to the song. Azusa looked over as the stage crew wheeled out the large, ornately decorated coffin onto the stage. She continued to hammer out the chords and got ready for the songs special performance.

The stage lighting flashed to red as she played the hard and heavy guitar riff. Specter walked across the stage towards Azusa. He roughly grabbed her by the white feathered wings and snatched her guitar from her hands. He quickly took her guitar from her and tossed it off stage only to have it caught by Chris which he was thankful for, because if he would have damaged one of Azusa's guitars, she would have killed him.

Specter roughly drug her to center stage and acted as though he were beating her. Of course he wasn't, it was all for show. He then forcefully began to tear the white feathers from her wings and just as planned the fake blood sprayed out from where the feathers had been torn while Azusa acted like she was in pain. Phantom continued to hammer out the heavy guitar riff accompanied by the rest of the band as the stage show continued.

With constantly flashing red stage lights, Specter took one last good, "Fake" hit on Azusa. She then made herself fall backwards and acted unconscious as Specter caught her and picked her limp body up over his shoulder. He then carried her over to the coffin and put her inside.

With the heavy guitar riff still playing, he took a few more hard swings inside the coffin, hitting the sides to make it look like he was in fact hitting Azusa. Over the loud, and heavy guitar riff, Azusa called out to Specter, "You better not burn me, Tyler!" He winked at her and said back quickly so that the crowed wouldn't see, "I'll try not to." Azusa then quickly pulled the safety screen over herself and quickly began to change out of her black outfit while the stage show continued.

Specter jumped up to the raised section of the stage and stepped onto a small platform and grabbed the large metal bucket. The heavy guitar riffs and heavy drumming suddenly stopped and was replaced by soft, haunting keyboard and blue and white lighting. The platform that Specter was standing on then began to rise high above the stage and the coffin that Azusa was in. He stood motionless looking down and then lifted the mic to his mouth when the platform stopped raising. He then slowly and softly sang…

"You fell from grace and you've been betrayed…

These must be your darkest days…

I see your face as you cry out at me…

Oh sweet angel this is how it has to be…

The rest of the band then hammered out the same 5, quick, heavy beats in between verses as Specter softly sang,

"My little angel…

I'll tear off your wings…

It does you good…"

Phantom then walked up to his mic and said harshly,

"Listen to her scream!…"

The heavy guitar riff again picked up as Specter grabbed onto the metal bucket and tipped it. Instantly a plume of glowing orange sparks poured down onto Azusa as fire rose from below the stage and surrounded the coffin. To the crowed it looked as though molten metal was being poured all over Azusa, and that's exactly what the band wanted them to think. As the heavy guitar riff played, a loud, ear deafening explosion erupted from the coffin sending out a shower of fluttering golden flashes. The crowed cheered wildly at the explosion as Specter continued to pour the sparks over the flaming coffin. Seconds later, another loud explosion plumed from the coffin as the crowed again cheered. Specter stood motionless as he watched the sparks and pyro effects go off. In his mind he was going crazy with excitement that the new stage effect had worked. One last, loud explosion went off from the top of the coffin as the shower of sparks stopped and the crowed continued to go crazy. Specter then sang the final chorus.

"My little angel

I'll tear off your wings

It does you good

Listen to her scream!"

The final heavy guitar riff was played as the platform that Specter was standing on slowly began to descend. As it lowered back down; for effect and with the mic away from his mouth, Specter called out insults and random profane words towards Azusa as the crowed continued to cheer.

As the platform returned to the stage, the heavy guitar suddenly stopped and only soft notes were played accompanied by soft beats and the occasional clash of Wraiths symbols. Specter then stepped off the platform and then jumped down to the coffin as the flames disappeared from around it. He looked inside, saw Azusa give him a thumbs up to show that she was okay, and then returned to his performance. He stood back up, made a religious cross motion over his chest and shook his head as if to tell the crowd that she didn't live through it. He then walked off stage as soft notes of Phantom's guitar were played.

After a few seconds, Azusa quickly pulled back the safety screen and slowly raised her hand up. She heard the crowed cheer as she began to move. She then slowly pulled herself up and out of the coffin, taking in a whiff of the smell of sulfur from the recently detonated pyro charges mounted on the top of the coffin. She then stood from the coffin and revealed that her black military style outfit had changed to a pure white and silver mini skirted outfit and was covered in the colorful, light reflective sequins. The crowed continued to cheer for her as she slowly stepped out of the coffin and then slowly limped her way over to center stage.

A metal panel in the stage slid open and from below, accompanied by fog, one of her guitars rose up from below the stage. The crowed instantly cheered from the effect as Azusa carefully ran her delicate fingers over the guitars neck and then slowly picked it up and slung it over her shoulder. She then pulled a guitar pick off of the small pick holder on the back of her guitar and then played several notes going lower and lower on the musical scale and then finished off the song with a loud bang as flash powder detonated directly in front of her from below the grated metal stage. The crowd cheered and her ears rang from the explosion but she didn't care. She loved it. The stage lighting then went dark and she quickly went back to her spot on stage and got ready for the next song.

* * *

><p>The show continued for well over an hour before the final song, Black Fire was played. Tyler stood wearing a large pair of metal wings that shot fire from the tips. As the song neared its end, fire erupted from both Specter's wings and from below the stage. Phantom began to jump and wildly play the songs outro while Azusa head banged along with the beat. The 4 light towers behind the stage illuminated and flashed with white light and smoke spewing from below; and as the song neared the very end, loud bangs echoed throughout the arena as pyro charges detonated behind and on the side of the stage as the song climaxed.<p>

Mio jumped from the sudden explosion and wanted to hold her ears but didn't. She watched as none of the band members flinched from the sudden loud bangs and simply continued to play. She quickly pulled up her camera and managed to get a picture of Azusa playing her guitar with a bright flash of pyro charges detonating behind her.

As the final explosions stopped and the music slowed, Azusa stood holding her guitar as she motionlessly faced the crowed allowing a harmonic to ring out form her guitar. Mio stared at her. Standing in her white, sequin covered outfit, she looked so beautiful and pure. Mio wasn't looking at it from a sexual point of view but simply found herself being captivated by what Azusa had become.

Mio felt something. For some reason that she couldn't explain, she felt tears running down her cheeks. Not tears of sadness, but of joy. She couldn't explain the feeling, but seeing Azusa and the rest of Shadow play made her so happy and it also made her a little sad that it was all over. Still, she simply wiped the tears away and cheered loudly as she took a few last minute pictures.

The band then walked off the stage as the lights came back on while Banshee remained at his keyboard and played a soft ending to the song and continued the calming notes as the other band members came back out on stage and took a bow. Specter then walked up from the center ramp from below the stage and approached his mic stand as the crowed cheered loudly for him. He looked at the crowed and simply stared for a second.

Pittsburgh was his hometown and he loved this city dearly. It felt good that everyone was cheering so loudly, not only for him, but for his band as well. He took the mic and said, "Pittsburgh, thank you so much for being here with us tonight. We are Shadow. Goodnight." The crowd instantly cheered and it brought a smile to all of their faces as they headed off the stage while the soft, orchestrated outro song began to play.

* * *

><p>I hope it flowed well. Writing a live concert isn't easy. Not for me anyway.<p>

(All of the songs are based off of Rammstein's music (With lyric rewrites) as well as the live stage performance)

If you want to see the songs that were performed, then go to Youtube and search for these videos.

1st. Song (Field of Shadow) - RAMMSTEIN Rammlied live Madison Square Garden (Video uploaded by Protyreus)

2nd. Song (My Little Angel) - RAMMSTEIN Ich Tu Dir Weh live Madison Square Garden (Video uploaded by Fuckingdevotee)

3rd. Song (Black Fire) - RAMMSTEIN Engel live Madison Square Garden (Video uploaded by Protyreus)

Look up the video's uploaded by those users for the best quality.

Again, thank you for reading!


	7. BACK STAGE

Sorry for the delay, I broke my elbow recently and typing has been tough. I'm trying to get back in my groove and get things posted as soon as I can.

N-Joy!

(CHAPTER 7) BACK STAGE

Azusa held Tama in her arms as she walked with the rest of the band through the back halls of the arena towards their dressing room. Through the brick walls, the sounds of the crowd could still be heard as people continued to cheer and whistle while the concerts soft outro music played for the audience while they left. The band was escorted by a group of security guards past arena crew members. Azusa always felt that to be a comfort after a show. She knew that she was safe but in the back of her mind, she had a pent up fear of running into her ex husband. She shook her head as she ignored the though.

"Hell yeah!" Phantom called out, "Another great show!" "Alexx, language!" Azusa said as she motioned towards Tama. Phantom bit his lip and quieted himself down. "Sorry Angel, that show just got me really pumped up." "I know! Pittsburgh is always amazing." Ghost said as he shook his hand out after a long night of playing his bass. He then looked at Azusa and said, "Hey, your bass player friend; is she going to see us again before we leave?" She didn't answer right away, she couldn't focus at the moment. "Hey Angel, you okay?" Ghost asked. Azusa quickly shook her trance and nodded and said, "Huh? Sorry Luke, I was spacing out. But yeah, Mio wants to do an interview with us for her magazine when we get back in the dressing room." "Sounds good!" Luke said.

Azusa raised an eyebrow and said, "Please don't flirt while she's trying to do her job. Mio's really sensitive, I don't want her to mess up on her article because you made her nervous." Luke then added, "I'll be good, I promise; and besides, I have someone to talk bass with now."

Kurt walked and rapidly spun his drum sticks in his fingers. He looked down at himself through his chin length, wavy brown hair and said with a groan, "I don't care if we're getting interviewed, I want a shower before we do anything." "Ditto." Tyler called out.

The band was led into their dressing room and the security guards left. Kurt held out his drum sticks to Tama and said, "Want a set of sticks, Kiddo?" Tama's face lit up. She already had several pairs of Wraith's drum sticks at home but she still got excited every time he gave her new ones. They always looked far from new, Wraith's sticks; much like every drummer's, were always chipped and covered with dents after a show from the constant hits to his drum kit. It didn't matter to Tama though, she treasured them all the same.

"Thanks Kurt!" Tama chirped happily. "No problem, Kiddo." Wraith said back. He then turned and said, "Alright, I'm soaked to the bone with sweat, I'm hittin' the shower." "Yeah, me too." Banshee called out. As the guy's headed to the showers, Azusa sat Tama down on the rooms large leather sofa and said, "Here, watch TV while Mommy get's cleaned up." Tama nodded, "Okay." Azusa then turned on the TV and put on a cartoon channel. "You're in luck!" Azusa said happily, "Spongebob is on!" Tama's eyes lit up and like magic she was glued to the screen. Azusa smiled and said, "Call if you need me." "Okay!" She chirped back.

Azusa then went to her suitcase and pulled out a set of clean clothes and her small bathroom bag. She then grabbed one of the towels that the arena had provided and headed into the showers. Inside, she saw the rest of the band member's undressing. She didn't care. They usually had to do this at every show when there was limited shower space and they were on a tight time table. She simply averted her eyes and went behind a separate curtain and stripped from her sequin covered, white and silver outfit. She then neatly hung it up on a hanger and examined her new stage costume.

Now that she actually had time to stop and look it over, she found it to be quite pretty. The top form fitting corset was patterned with an ornate, chrome silver, jagged design that streaked it's way down the laced seam while the color reflective sequins ran along the edges. The same pattern also complimented the detached sleeves. She also admired the pleated, sequin encrusted mini skirt with jagged cuts of transparent fabric that spiked out from the waist.

She quickly unbuckled her strapped boots, and slipped off her chrome silver thigh high stockings and neatly placed them with the rest of her outfit. Finally stripping from her bra and panties, she quickly folded them and wrapped a towel around her slender body. Before she headed to the shower's she quickly untied her hair ribbons and undid her twin tails letting her now hip length, raven black hair flow around her body.

She stepped out from behind the curtain and walked over to the shower, ignoring the fact that half of the band wasn't dressed around her. She didn't care; none of them ever made a fuss over it. To them, it was all part of the job, you work together on stage and freshen up afterwards. As she walked past the others while holding onto her towel and bathroom bag, Phantom said, "Hey Angel, is everything alright?" Azusa stopped and paused, "What do you mean?" She asked. "He then continued, "We were all just wondering; I mean, you've been kinda on edge lately. We just wanted to make sure that…," Azusa cut him off and said sharply, "I'm fine! I'm just tired after the show is all."

She then walked into her own shower stall and quickly undid her towel and hung it up where it wouldn't get wet. She then turned on the water and quickly put her long hair under the warm spray of water. "Angel?" She again heard Phantom say from the other side of the curtain, "I'm sorry if I said something wrong. We're just making sure you're alright." Azusa sighed openly and said, "I told you guy's, I'm fine."

She then heard Tyler say calmly, "We don't mean to but in; but we know that you act different like this when you're worrying about…, you know, him." Tyler heard no reply, only the sound of water coming from inside the shower stall. Azusa would never openly admit it, but she had been scared for her and Tama's safety lately. The thought of knowing of just how easily she could be tracked by simply looking at tour dates on the bands website, for all she knew, her ex husband could have been at every show they've been doing. She knew how he was. He was sly, and sneaky. It was hard enough getting herself and Tama to America without having him trying to stop her and take Tama away.

As much as she had been pushing the thought back, and as much as she was trying to ignore it, she had been scared about the chance of seeing him again. She felt her lip tremble and she felt her legs slowly give out. She couldn't hold it back, all the pent up fear that she was trying so desperately to hide for Tama's sake was finally getting to her. She felt herself falling to her knees while the water from the shower poured over her like heavy rain. She then felt her own tears mixing with the water that was already streaming down her face as she let out a muffled sob.

"…Dammit." Tyler uttered out. He and the other's quickly covered themselves up with their towels and Tyler opened the curtain of Azusa's shower. The band saw her sitting down on her knees and hunched over with her back towards them while her long, wet, raven black hair draped over her. "Azusa…" Tyler said softly. He slowly approached her and turned the shower water off and knelt down next to her. Azusa didn't care that she wasn't wearing anything, she just wanted the comfort of knowing that she was safe. She quickly turned and wrapped her arms around Tyler's neck and cried.

Tyler wrapped his arms around her and said, "It's alright…, you know that he can't get anywhere near you or Tama with us around." Through her sobs, Azusa said back shakily, "I-I'm so scared, Tyler, I've always been scared." "I know you have." Tyler told her calmly, "We all know; but you know that he can't hurt you or Tama ever again." Azusa seemed to cry harder at the words. She felt so helpless and vulnerable. She continued with her voice still trembling, "I'm always afraid that he'll take Tama from me. Everyone already thinks I'm a bad mother, I don't want them to be right."

Phantom then spoke up, "You know that's not true, Angel! I've never seen a more devoted parent before I met you. I've never once seen Tama upset when she's with you. You're a damn good mother and you know it!" Wraith then added, "Yeah! Screw those bitches who say those things about you, you know it's not true." Banshee then added, "Their jealous!"

Azusa kept her head buried in Tyler's chest as she tried to calm herself down. Luke then walked over to Azusa and handed her a dry bath towel, "Here." He told her calmly as he put it over her back. Azusa looked up at the rest of the band with her glassy, brown eyes. She pulled her fingers into the palms of her hands and seemed to make them into paws as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

Tyler smiled at her and said, "You know that as long as us, and the rest of the crew are with you, no one is getting near you." Azusa nodded and said, "Thank you guys, thank you guys so much for always watching out for me and Tama." Phantom nodded and said, "We always look out for each other, you don't have to worry about anything happening."

Tyler then helped her to her feet and said, "Why don't you finish getting cleaned up. We all had a long day and we still have an interview to do. That, and I don't think you want Tama knowing that you're upset." Azusa nodded and said, "Alright." As she leaned back and stood. She then watched as the rest of the band quickly averted their eyes. She realized that she stood and forgot to hold the front of her towel closed. She instantly blushed and quickly pulled it closed. She readied to yell out in embarrassment but then heard Tyler say, "It's alright, we didn't look."

He then pulled her curtain closed to give her some privacy and went back to getting in his own shower. Azusa sighed and then turned the water back on and finished washing herself after another long and tiring concert.

* * *

><p>Azusa finished her shower and quickly dried herself off. She then slipped into a black, pleated miniskirt, and a Shadow band tank top. She quickly brushed her teeth and then headed back out into her separate dressing room.<p>

Tama saw her mother had finished in the bathroom. She hopped down off of the couch and walked over to see her. She saw her mother sit down at one of the dressing tables and look at herself in the mirror. She watched as her mother sighed and seemed to have a sad look on her face. Not wanting to point anything out, Tama simply picked up her mother's hairbrush off one of the tables and gripped onto it with her tiny hand.

"Mommy?" She said quietly. Azusa quickly sat upright and tried to get the worried look off of her face. She looked at her daughter and said back as she forced a smile, "Oh, I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't know you were there." Tama paused and then took a few steps inside. "Are you alright?" She asked with worry. "Yeah, I'm fine." Azusa said as she tried to hide her lie, "Mommy's just a little tired after the show."

Tama then nodded and uttered out, "Can I help you brush your hair?" Azusa smiled and said, "Sure." Tama then walked over to her mother and pulled up a small stool and hopped up onto it. She then reached her tiny hand into Azusa's still damp hair and began to brush it. Azusa simply sat quietly and tried to clear hear head. All she tried to focus on was the sound of the hairbrush running through her long locks. She then heard Tama say softly, "You have the prettiest hair ever, Mommy. I want hair just like your's when I grow up."

Azusa smiled and said back calmly, "It took me a long time to grow it this long, you'll have to be patient if you want it to be this long someday." Tama smiled and said back, "If it means that I'll get to be as pretty as you someday then I'll wait as long as it takes." Azusa felt tears returning to her eyes, not because of her fear, but because of how proud she was of her daughter. Even for her young age, Tama was already growing up to be a perfect little girl. She was polite, kind, and rarely ever threw tantrums or caused trouble.

"Come here a second." Azusa said calmly as she motioned for her daughter. Tama set her hairbrush down and walked over to her mother. Azusa then picked her up and set her on her lap and pulled her into a hug. "Mommy loves you so much, you know that?" Tama smiled and said, "Yes, and I love you too, Mommy, tons and tons!"

Hearing the words brought comfort to her. She smiled and continued, "I'm so glad that you come to show's with me, you're such a big help to everyone, and especially now since you hand me my guitars between songs. It may not seem like a big job, but it really is. Without you doing that, it slows the show down." Tama smiled and said, "It's a lot of fun, I'm glad that you let me help out with the crew."

Azusa sat silent for a moment and embraced her child, she then calmly asked, "Hey Tama-Chan, can I ask you something?" "Hmm?" Tama asked as she looked at her and her mother in the mirror in front of them. Azusa paused and then asked, "Tama-Chan, do you still think about your daddy?"

Tama froze. Her look of happiness seemed to fade and she lowered her head. She quietly uttered out, "Daddy was always yelling. He was always making me and you cry, and he hurt you real bad." Azusa sighed and said back calmly, "Yeah, he did. He did a lot of mean things to us, didn't he?" Tama simply nodded. Tama then timidly uttered out, "I still get scared when I think about him. He wasn't a nice daddy like all my friends have." Azusa's grip tightened around her daughter. She again forced herself to hold back tears. She simple replied softly, "I know. And I want you to know how sorry I am that I made you go through all of that. I'll make sure it will never happen again; and you don't have to be afraid anymore, because we have: Tyler, Alexx, Luke, Kurt, and Nick watching over us now. They won't let anyone hurt us like that ever again."

There was a pause before Tama timidly asked, "What if daddy comes back?" Azusa simply kissed Tama on her head and told her calmly, "He won't. We have good people watching over us to make sure he doesn't."

Azusa heard a light knock on the door. "Come in." She said. The door opened and Phantom walked in. He saw Azusa cradling Tama. He smiled and said, "Your friend is here for the interview." "Thanks Alexx" Azusa said. "I'll be right there." Alexx nodded and walked away as Azusa said to Tama, "Come on, let's to see Mio."


End file.
